chapter04 · 109-ep109

Episode 106: Food-Terror Streaming and the Possibilities of <Divine Artisan>

【UWOOOOOOOOH!?】

【The meat hasn't vanished, desu wa!?】

【Did you seriously get past your unique's restriction, ojou-sama!?】

【It's soooo fresh and pretty as ground meat that it looks delicious even before cooking!?】

【No way, she's seriously making a hamburger steak!?】

【Bracing for food terrorism with a dash to the convenience store, desu waa~!?】

【Wait, did she really get past the unique's restriction!?】

The restriction of <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom>: meat from the lower layers and below could only be crudely cut and grilled—that primitive cooking method and nothing else.

Karin's crafting skill had broken through that restriction, and the viewers were raising voices of astonishment.

But the one most excited of all was not the viewers but—

"UWOOOOOOOOH!? You seriously broke through my unique skill's restriction, jaaaaaaa!? What the hell ARE you!?"

Miss Sharie, age fourteen—otherwise known as the African Unification Dungeon Queen.

The long-intractable restriction of her own unique skill had been broken through, and she let out a genuine cheer of joy.

"We did it, desu waa~! At this rate, I can genuinely make the strongest hamburger steak, desu no! Actually, as a mysterious shitty mechanic of <Divine Artisan>, equipment made with the ordinary crafting skill using <Divine Artisan> tools also can't be used by anyone else... but perhaps because this meat is special to begin with, just as my intuition beforehand suggested, it seems Sharie-sama can eat it too, and!"

And Karin, having accomplished the great feat of breaking a unique restriction, was likewise celebrating the success with shining eyes. Eyes still in their usual meat state. But by no means had she lost her composure—

"Though from the look of it, it seems the remaining steps also can't be cooked without using the crafting skill properly...! I shall concentrate on the work, so please continue guarding me, Sharie-sama!"

"Umu! Understood, ja!"

And so, in the same manner as when she had created the giant meat mincer earlier, Karin produced, one after another, a <Divine Artisan> magic food processor and a magic frying pan.

"Since we didn't prepare much this time, I shall make it a nearly zero-binder, 100% bear-meat hamburger steak where we can heartily savor the meat's intrinsic umami, desu wa!"

She tossed the ground meat into the processor, then added salt and pepper taken from her item box. Adopting the authentic style for enjoying 100% meat's umami—where salting alone is enough to draw out the meat's stickiness—she activated her crafting skill and kneaded the meat like mad.

【!?】

【Seasonings coming out of the item box, lmao】

【She's pulling them out like it's the most natural thing, but that's weird, right!?】

【Isn't this wasting the item box's capacity!?】

【Karin ojou-sama!? Why is salt and pepper coming out of your item box, desu no!?】

The comment section filled with tsukkomi at the seasonings Karin had produced as if it were only natural.

Then, while continuing her work, Karin said,

"Ah-, well, it's this, desu no. If you keep seasonings inside the item box, they never get damp, so I always have them in there, desu yo. Today there wasn't any, but usually there's bread in there too. Also, since time doesn't pass inside the box, I can stock up on same-day-expiry items being sold at a throwaway price and preserve them long-term, so it's extremely handy for saving money, desu no. Ah, and incidentally, here is a sauce I obtained at one of those clearance sales and have used ever so carefully, desu wa! Once the hamburger steaks are done, I would like you to pour this on them, desu wa ne!"

【What an insaaaanely luxurious use of the item box, my lmao is dying】

【An item worth an estimated hundreds of billions of yen being used for penny-ante savings is a whole new form of dignity destruction!】

【That's like using a national-treasure-grade holy sword to cut kamaboko!】

【I mean, but isn't this absurdly extravagant usage actually super ojou-sama-ish in its own way??? (confusion)】

【Wait, the sauce's best-before date was six months ago!?】

【The 70%-off sticker still on it, lmao】

【This is not a product an ojou-sama character should be pulling out, desu wa yo!】

【Fallen nobility, maybe?】

【(Wait, doesn't this subtly mean she already had the item box six months ago...?)】

Terrible tsukkomi piled in over the atrocious way she used her item box, but those comments no longer reached Karin's eyes.

Just as when she'd made the ground meat... the cooking that followed, too, required more concentration than expected.

"Mumu... as one would expect, or rather as one might say, this cooking is quite high-difficulty, and I can't simply skip the processing steps, desu wa ne."

Karin, running the food processor with her crafting skill active, murmured with a serious expression.

"Breaking a unique skill's restriction. And on top of that, cooking-type processing that behaves differently than usual, so I'm struggling quite a bit, desu wa ne... But this... I have this sense that my understanding of crafting skills in general, including <Divine Artisan>, is deepening further through work in a completely different direction from anything before...! It's giving me good feedback in all sorts of meanings, desu no!"

【!?】

【Is ojou-sama murmuring something insane...?】

【Oi oi oi oi!】

【Isn't this serving as ojou-sama's training!?】

【Ojou-sama leveling up through hamburger-making!】

【What do you mean, an ojou-sama who grows by making hamburger steak!?】

【The phrasing sounds like it'll spawn a weird meme, lmao】

【90% of viewers are so distracted by ojou-sama's terrifying remarks that they don't notice the sound of Sharie-sama massacring deep-layer monsters off-screen】

And so, while the viewers scattered in mild panic—the work proceeded smoothly.

The ground meat, its stickiness drawn out by kneading in salt, was shaped.

Into a large frying pan made from magma turtle, which generates heat when mana passes through it, Karin added fat trimmed from the troll grizzly. Running it hot as an operational check, premium oil seeped out, glittering gold...

"W-well then... I shall cook it, desu wa!"

"Y-yes!"

With her crafting skill active, Karin placed the hamburger patties into the scorching-hot frying pan.

JUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

【Ahh! Ahh!】

【Ojou-sama!! This is too much!! You must not, ojou-sama!! Ahh!!】

【That sound alone could carry me through three bowls of rice, desu waaaaa!?】

【It looks sooooo good】

【Actually, setting aside the crafting skill business, ojou-sama's cooking handiwork is good, desu wa ne!?】

【Well, she's dexterous enough to make cosplay outfits, and she apparently cooks for herself】

【This ojou-sama is commoner to the bone】

【Both of them staring daggers at the cooking meat, lmao】

【Unlike us, they can actually smell the meat cooking, so it stands to reason, desu wa...】

【Her watching the meat like "don't interrupt" while casually killing deep-layer monsters one-handed is too scary, lmao】

The smell and sound of premium meat cooking echoed through the deep layers.

Their appetites fiercely stimulated, Karin and Sharie had eyes for nothing else (blasting away the troll grizzly that came to interfere) as they watched over the meat.

And after several minutes of Karin keeping her crafting skill active—

"It is done, desu waa~!"

"UWOOOOOOOOH! You seriously finished it, jaaaaaa!? It looks crazy delicious, jaaaaaaa!"

Having confirmed the meat was cooked through with a detection skill, Karin plated the hamburger steak on a dish—crudely made, admittedly, from dungeon wall. But that was not merely moving a hamburger steak onto a plate—

"Wahhhh! It's not a pancake tower, but a five-tier hamburger steak—the dream of my childhood, jaaaaaaa!"

Ta-dah!

Karin raised a cheer at the stacked, sizzling hamburger steaks.

【Cooking by an idiot, lmao】

【The thought process of a grade-school boy, lmao】

【Ojou-sama, hasn't your hunger blinded you into forgetting 'Elegance'!?】

【Why not? If stacking pancakes is fashionable, then this is fashionable too!】

【Why does the visual IQ drop so much when it's hamburger steak...】

【Actually, just realizing this now, but each individual hamburger steak is HUGE!】

【Is that an Uma Musume?】

【No but seriously this looks soooo good!?】

Total tsukkomi poured in at Karin's questionable plating.

But—

"W-well then..."

The moment Karin carved up the five-tier hamburger steak with two knives she'd crudely made from dungeon wall with a "this'll do for today"—

【Ah】

【Whoa】

【This is bad】

【OAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!? (English)】

【Yeah no, no good, it looks way too delicious】

At the overflowing meat juices, everyone lost their vocabulary.

Golden droplets condensed with the finest umami.

The meat juices packed with umami that simple grilling would have let run to waste flowed out onto the plate, stimulating the appetite to a degree that truly seemed not of this world.

And if even the viewers through the screen were robbed of words, then the appetite stimulation felt by the two who were smelling it directly was several levels beyond—

"...! Itadakimasu, desu wa...!"

"...! Itadakimasu, nano ja..."

As if drawn in, they were already biting into the hamburger steak without even properly cutting it.

The instant they did—

""~~~~~~~!""

Ecstasy.

The violent umami of the meat spreading the moment it hit their mouths.

Wild in texture yet tender at the same time, the more they chewed the more the confined umami came flooding out of the meat, and their jaws could not stop.

Since this was a stream video, they really ought to give proper food commentary.

But with the meat's umami punching their instincts dead-on, there was no time for that—Karin and company were devoting themselves entirely to eating. They didn't even have the composure to pour on the sauce they'd set aside.

Eventually they finally managed to use their mouths for something other than eating,

"—Wahhahahaha! What is this! What IS this! I can barely believe you actually managed to cook it at all, and it's too delicious, ja!"

"This is amazing, desu wa, this is amazing, desu waa~!"

When you eat something truly delicious, all you can do is laugh.

That old saying was true—or at least Karin was experiencing it for the first time—both of them shouting with beaming smiles.

【UWAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?】

【Karin ojou-sama's pantomime food report combined with the insanely delicious-looking meat is banned by the rules, I say!?】

【It looks way too good!?】

【Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I can't take it anymore! crack】

【Somebody just cracked open a canned beer, lmao】

【Uwaaaaaaaaah! I seriously should have prepared food first!?】

【Now I understand how that ojou-sama who ate her dinner while watching meat-cooking videos felt, desu waaa~!】

【Food terrorism beyond food terrorism】

【F-food terrorism at this hour...! How underhanded...!?】

【Food-terrorism police! Let me eat some too!】

【This is a violation of international law, I say!?】

【@Attorney Mitsurugi: I shall defend you on suspicion of food terrorism, so please let me have a taste, desu wa!】

【Mitsurugi-tan trying to abuse his authority, lmao】

【You could use this to torture hungry prisoners...】

【Dear viewers, it is torture time, desu no】

【Food terrorism so strong the question of "did she really break the unique's restriction?" stops mattering...!】

【Also, ojou-sama mass-producing tableware from dungeon walls, lmao】

【Dungeon wall: "Ojou-sama, you're always like this...! What do you take me for!?!"】

【↑A convenient all-purpose material you can gather anywhere in unlimited quantities】

And so that dining scene alone was causing quite the uproar... but the true crowning glory of the dish prepared in the deep layers began from there.

"...? Hm? What is this, desu no. Somehow, more power is welling up than when I ate the meat earlier, desu wa!"

Karin, who'd been about to make additional hamburger steaks in one flowing motion, swung her arms about.

Her whole body was brimming with even more mana than when she'd eaten the whole-roasted bear meat... and Sharie, whose attention had been captured by the mere fact deep-layer meat could be cooked, noticed the anomaly one beat later.

"Mu...!? What is this!? Could it be—the mana recovery and nourishing-strengthening effects are higher than when simply grilling and eating it!?"

Indeed.

Though Karin herself only vaguely grasped it... the crafting skill, when used in the mana-saturated lower and deep layers, has its effects and growth rate enhanced.

And that had duly come into play with this cooking as well.

Thanks to Karin's power—using <Divine Artisan> cooking implements in the deep layers, able to concentrate on processing with Sharie guarding her—not only the taste but even the magical effects had been enhanced.

【!?】

【Hah?】

【No wait, come on, that's got to be a lie, right?】

【Hold on a second】

【This is bad】

【S-surely it only feels that way because it's too delicious...?】

【N-no, but something does seem clearly off about them even through the screen...?】

【My Side Effect is whispering to me... nah, never mind】

【Side Effect bro!?】

【Excuse me! If you've gone that far, then please say it through to the end, would you!?】

【O-oi, isn't this seriously insane?】

【Apparently buff-recovery effects vanish outside the dungeon, but even so, desu wa yo!】

The viewers shuddered at the unexpected synergy of Karin's crafting skill and <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom>.

Naturally there were skeptics among them... but for Sharie and company, actually eating it and feeling the effects, there was nothing left to do but be convinced.

Moreover, Sharie there noticed a further 'anomaly'.

(Hm...? Is it just me, or is Karin's mana recovery amount greater than mine...?)

For an instant she thought it imagination.

But when Sharie—after all, a magic-type also somewhat versed in detection—concentrated... Karin was clearly receiving more of the special hamburger steaks' benefit. The mana recovery amounts were unmistakably different.

(...!? What is the meaning of this!? We ate the same thing in the same amounts, so why the difference in effect!? ...Come to think of it, earlier this one said equipment made with the ordinary crafting skill via <Divine Artisan> tools can't normally be used by others... Could it be that the very fact others can eat this dish is a bug-like quirk of the monster meat, and the effect when the <Divine Artisan> holder herself eats it is the true form of it...!?)

Having arrived at that hypothesis, Sharie's thoughts leapt further.

If this is what the ordinary crafting skill achieves... then what on earth would be the effect of a dish made with <Divine Artisan> cooking implements plus <Divine Artisan> itself—truly and genuinely edible by Karin alone?

(Th-this one... just how far gone IS she, ja...!?)

At that faintly chilling premonition, Sharie let a single drop of sweat run down as if in shudder, yet at the same time curled the corners of her mouth in excitement.

Putting Karin's potential for further abnormal power-ups on the stream felt genuinely dangerous even for a Dungeon Queen, so she avoided mentioning it there... but even setting that hypothesis aside, at Karin's outrageous 'cooking', Sharie's eyes sparkled.

"Karin, you truly are tremendous!? To think you could actually cook lower-layer meat and beyond, not only making it this delicious but even magnifying its magical effects...!"

"No, no, the pleasure is mine, desu wa! Being able to eat meat this delicious without worrying about money is the best, desu no! I shall keep making more and more, desu wa yo!"

Having made all manner of cooking implements, she wasn't fully recovered, but her mana considerably restored, Karin reached for the meat to make more mince.

Then—"Ah, wait a moment, ja"—Sharie stopped her.

"Before you fill yourself up on this meat alone, let me teach you one good thing about dungeon meat."

And, as if in thanks for her not only cooking deep-layer meat but showing her such an incredible possibility, she floated a mischievous smile—

"The flesh of monsters, ja—see, the stronger they are, the more saturated with mana, and the more delicious they are."

"...!? Abyssal-boss hunting, desu waa~!!"

Karin shouted.

But, hastily regaining her composure,

"Ah, no, I've been told not to stream carelessly in the abyssal layers, and today is strictly a coordination check. And come to think of it, just as with the pit, going to the abyssal layers with someone I only met today would be a scolding matter besides... s-so let us stick to the original plan and, as part of conquering this dungeon, reap the deep-layer bosses, desu wa! A free-meal deep-layer boss taste-comparison hamburger edition, desu no!"

"Splendid! Let us cook and eat many more varieties, ja! I'm curious how the taste will turn out, of course, but the effects and efficacy too!"

"My excitement is rising, desu wa!"

【Deep-layer bosses: "!?"】

【Boss monsters, run, run like your lives depend on it!】

【Too bad bosses can't flee from the boss room】

【Explorers can withdraw from them just fine, though...】

【Has "can't flee the boss room" ever been applied from the boss's side before?】

【The deep-layer bosses are now literally nothing but ingredients in her eyes, lmao】

【Ojou-sama, your eyes have turned to meat in place of gold, desu wa!?】

【That is completely the face of a predator, lmao】

【Also, her first shout being "abyssal-boss hunting" is messed up!?】

【An ojou-sama whose reflexive cry is "abyssal-boss hunting"—where exactly does she dive and what does she get up to normally, I wonder...】

【Compromising with deep-layer boss hunting is, to put it mildly, unhinged】

【Please stop using insane phrases like "deep-layer boss taste comparison" as if they're normal!?】

【Karin ojou-sama: "All monsters shall be mince, desu wa (serious)"】

And so, thinking "the leftovers might work for mixed mince..." Karin stowed the remaining bear meat in her item box. The various cooking implements went into the item box as well, and they began plunging through the deep layers at a tremendous pace.

――――――――――――――――――――――――

I wrote ahead to a good stopping point and it ended up quite long, so I'm splitting it here and posting the continuation tomorrow morning, desu wa! (My word counts have been on the heavy side lately, but for things like this, I can never decide whether it's better to split them up and raise update frequency or post it all at once in a single update, desu wa ne...!)