chapter03 · 068-ep68
Episode 65: Live Commentary and a Welcome to the Deathtrap
"Hello, everyone. Thank you for joining my stream again today, and welcome to anyone here for the first time. I'm just Mitsuki now, since I've discarded the name of that cowardly family called Shijou. As announced, today I'll be providing live commentary on Karin ojou-sama's attempt at a solo conquest of the deep layers."
On the day Karin challenged the dungeon, Mitsuki, who had abandoned her family to stand by Karin, was streaming from the hotel where she was staying.
The point of this conquest was to demonstrate that Karin could have gained ten or twenty million subscribers simply by conquering a dungeon, without staging incidents. They also hoped the attempt itself would make her subscriber count jump. Shocking footage and historic feats were persuasive, but numbers had their own power. If her subscriber count grew substantially during this stream, her claim of innocence would be even more convincing. Mitsuki, with a loyal following overseas, had volunteered to provide live commentary.
Clips of Karin had already circulated abroad, but viewers had dismissed them as impressive fakes. 'A high school girl from Japan, a dungeon developing nation? You're joking.' 'That outfit must be a promotion for an anime.' She hadn't gained many overseas fans. Mitsuki, on the other hand, was trusted abroad as Samurai Girl, making her channel ideal for the job. Granted, Karin's every action was so ridiculous that people might still refuse to believe it even when presented by Mitsuki... but they could only do everything they could.
While Honoka and her Anti-Dungeon Division colleagues divided up to guard Okutama Dungeon's entrance and search for dirt on Black Tiger, Mitsuki began streaming shortly before Karin started her conquest. Her skilled banter drew viewers in; she explained the situation in detail and led many over to Karin's channel as she shifted into live commentary.
But—
"AAAAAAAAH! Karin ojou-sama is the absolute BEST!"
Mere minutes into Karin's stream, Mitsuki had completely lost it.
"Smashing straight through the upper and middle layers! You'd almost think she didn't know this stream was meant to prove her innocence! And did you all hear her say my name on-stream AGAIN!? On top of that, she's starting her conquest with the swordsmanship I had the honor of teaching her! This is the honor of a lifetime...!"
【O-okay...】
【That sudden scream destroyed my eardrums ( ;∀;)】
【Her fan thread called it: she can't keep up serious commentary lmao】
【W-well, she lasted longer than the fan thread predicted...】
【She was already on fire from 'I've discarded the name of that cowardly family called Shijou' at the start...】
【Come back, the Mitsuki-chan we used to know (´；ω；｀)】
【I-if Mitsuki-chan is happy, that's enough for me...】
【Before she proves her innocence, Karin ojou-sama should take responsibility for what she's done to Mitsuki ojou-sama】
【We could've guessed from Mitsuki's commentary streams on Karin's old videos after that Fist Fuck apology stream, but her LIVE reactions are even more intense and chaotic lmao】
【She's SUCH a fan...】
【It's been said a thousand times: Mitsuki-sama's 'Karin ojou-sama analysis' is just a reaction video】
【Honestly, half the reason I'm here today is to watch this】
【Funny... I was upset when Mitsuki-chan broke down before, but now seeing her this genuinely happy cheers me up】
【If your fave looks happy, what more could you want...?】
【Wh-what's going on with Samurai Girl today? (in English)】
【Japan's crazy ojou-sama is attempting a solo deep-layer conquest at sixteen and she's excited about it. (in English)】
【??? Is it April Fools' Day in Japan because of the time difference? (in English)】
Chat descended into chaos while Mitsuki made strange noises. And Karin's dungeon stream, displayed on Mitsuki's screen, was about to deal her emotions an even bigger blow.
"Right! That's the middle layers conquered, desu no!"
Karin had taken a short 'cut' through the upper and middle layers and knocked out their middle-layer boss, Titan Knightbone, with a high-speed dropkick. Now she reached into the item box inside her dress.
"From here, I'll conquer the lower layers Elegantly with my favorite teabag tea—cheap, delicious Lip○on! It happened to be on sale, so I've stocked up. I won't run out partway through today!"
And with a teacup filled to the brim, she charged into the lower layers. Viewers in Karin's chat were baffled.
【What!?】
【H-hold on, ojou-sama!?】
【Wait, what are you doing!?】
【Ojou-sama!? Seriously, what are you doing!?】
"Eh? What do you mean? I'm having another go at conquering the lower layers with tea, as you can see..."
【Stop looking at us like 'isn't it obvious'!?】
【Why NOW, though!?】
【Yes, you've been saying you want another try, but still!?】
【You need to save every bit of energy for the deep layers today!】
【Didn't you shortcut the upper and middle layers to save time and stamina!?】
【Obviously you should save the rematch for another day and conserve your strength NOW!?】
"There is merit to that way of thinking," Karin said, taking an Elegant sip of tea in the lower layers. "But this channel is 'Elegant Dungeon Conquest.' Circumstances forced me to take a shortcut through the upper and middle layers, and my best fri—my friend told me not to prioritize Elegance too much in the deep layers. So right here is my only chance to put all my heart into an Elegant stream, desu no! And these allegations have pushed back my chance to try the lower-layer tea conquest again... So with this many of you watching, I want you to enjoy seeing my most Elegant dungeon conquest at least here in the lower layers! Oh, and of course I'll proceed using only these fists!"
【You think we're gonna nod and say 'oh, that makes sense' after hearing that!?】
【It's not 'there is merit to that way of thinking'! It's the ONLY way you should be thinking!】
【She's putting her channel concept ahead of saving energy for the deep layers!?】
【I knew she was a fool, but how much further can she take it!?】
【Neither her strength nor her stupidity has a limit!?】
【What is WRONG with her!? She destroys the dungeon, then starts sipping tea in the lower layers!】
【What even IS a 'lower-layer tea conquest'!?】
【Stop throwing baffling catchphrases at first-time viewers, ojou-sama!】
【Why did she use a weapon in the upper and middle layers and go barehanded in the LOWER layers!? Did I hear wrong!?】
【Old-timers, is she always like this!?】
【U-um...】
【More or less, but today her brain's even more...】
【I saw the allegations on TV and thought someone famous must be doing awful things behind the scenes, but... could someone this crazy really tell a lie that deceived millions of people...?】
【Even an idiot can lie, but fooling people takes a certain amount of intelligence】
【I'm not sure this ojou-sama can even lie properly...】
【H-hey, operatives... It already feels like the false charges are falling apart BEFORE she conquers the deep layers. Maybe you should jump off that sinking ship now...?】
【N-no, she could be acting to give that impression, and she does have a strategist helping her, so it wouldn't prove... anything...】
【Even the operatives are starting to sound uncertain! And they're TYPING!】
【I don't know how much Black Tiger paid you, but if you don't do your jobs properly, they'll make you disappear!】
【You must be shaken if you're faltering in a written comment!】
【Who cares about those scumbags! Mitsuki-sama!? You're watching this, aren't you!? Surely you should stop her!?】
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! She's so crazy and insane and outrageous and WONDERFUL! That's Karin ojou-sama for you...! She keeps doing things so abnormal that I could never even imagine them! It's exhilarating...! How much more can Karin ojou-sama make my heart race and keep me spellbound!?"
【Yeah, no help there...】
【Breaking news: we all knew this would happen】
【If you expected Mitsuki-sama to be Karin ojou-sama's brake, you must be new here】
【Mitsuki-sama... You just said out loud all the things we normally think about Karin ojou-sama but (slightly) hold back from saying...】
【Crazy, insane, outrageous, abnormal. Four insults in a row lmao】
【At this rate she's practically an assassin sent by Black Tiger lol】
【Describing Karin ojou-sama accurately just happens to sound like an insult】
"—Ah, but I do want to make something perfectly clear," Mitsuki continued. "This tea conquest is only possible because Karin ojou-sama has strength beyond common sense. Please NEVER imitate her, not even in the upper layers. When choosing equipment, prioritize freedom of movement and protection of vital areas. Dungeon conquest isn't easy. My retainers, if you could clip and share this warning, I would appreciate it."
【Whoa!? Don't suddenly switch to calm!】
【Mitsuki-sama swaps personalities like she has two of them lmao】
【Her fan thread has started treating 'Mitsuki-sama' the serious commentator and 'Dark Mitsuki-sama' the Karin-obsessed fanatic as separate people lol】
【What the hell lmao】
【Calling her fall to the dark side lmao】
【She shines MORE when she's losing it over Karin ojou-sama. Shouldn't it be 'Radiant Mitsuki-sama' instead?】
【The light is so strong it blinds us, making it darkness, basically】
【Mitsuki-chan still gives proper safety warnings even when she's lost in excitement. How admirable (dead eyes)】
As the chats on both channels stirred over the two ojou-samas' antics—
"BMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A massive shadow blocked Karin's path through the lower layers as she carried her tea. It was a muscular bull-headed monster, the minotaur, reputed to be one of the strongest monsters in the lower layers.
【This guy again!】
【Karin ojou-sama sure runs into these a lot!?】
【Wait, doesn't this one look weird?】
【It's HUUUUUUUUUUUGE!?】
【What's with those horns and all that muscle!?】
【What is this, a minotaur with a gym membership!?】
【Is that a whole jeep sitting on its shoulders!?】
"Ah, that's an enhanced variant," Mitsuki said, still in commentary mode. "Perhaps because mana throughout large dungeons that reach the abyssal layers is denser, enhanced variants appear more frequently than usual once you get to around the lower layers. Normally an enhanced variant is without doubt an irregularity... but in a dungeon reaching the abyssal layers, you may as well consider them the norm. As for the enhanced minotaur, its strength and resistance to blunt force far exceed the ordinary kind. Even the top explorers would find it virtually impossible to finish one off with blows."
As if proving her right—DOGOH!
"Bmo!? ...! BMOOOO!"
Karin's tea-in-hand punch sent the enhanced minotaur flying into a wall. But while it cried out in pain, its body remained intact. It glared back at her with murderous eyes.
【!?】
【Whoa, it survived the ojou-sama's punch!?】
【You're kidding!?】
【Even if she was holding tea and that was nowhere near a full-power punch, seriously!?】
【Wait, THAT'S what surprises you!? She threw some invisible punch or something, and not a DROP of tea spilled!?】
【Why is everyone more shocked that the minotaur survived the blow than that the tea didn't spill...?】
【The difference in what new and longtime viewers find surprising is killing me lmao】
【No joke... A variant THIS bad isn't even an irregularity in abyss-reaching dungeons? They're terrifying...】
【I never knew what 'high difficulty' actually meant for a dungeon, but now I do...】
【What will the ojou-sama do!?】
【Put down the tea and fight seriously, ojou-sama!】
【You had that sword that cut up the dungeon a minute ago!】
"BMOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The minotaur roared and made to counterattack from where it had struck the wall.
"Too slow, desu wa."
But the next instant—WHOOSH!
Karin, who'd delivered the previous blow, closed in on its face with speed almost like teleportation.
DOGOON!
Her fist slammed into the minotaur's hardest point: its face. And then—
DOGOON! DOGOON!! DOGOGON!!! DOGOGOGOGOGOGOGON!!!!!
"Bmo!? B-buh!? OGH!? OGH!? ONG!? OGH!? OOOOGHOGHOGHOGH?!?!?!"
She rained blows on it, refusing to give it any chance to fight back. The enhanced minotaur's head slammed into the dungeon wall again and again. Its brain was violently shaken between the wall and her fist, each impact drawing another muffled cry. At last—THUD.
Its head and neck beaten to a pulp, the enhanced minotaur collapsed limply.
"Hmm. Even with <Recoil-Free Cannon>, keeping my tea from spilling limits the attack skills I can use. It took me a little while to beat an enhanced minotaur to death... Twenty punches for one kill! I still have so much training to do, desu wa!"
【Eek...】
【W-whoa...】
【Wait... did she just punch an enhanced minotaur to death?】
【What does she mean 'so much training to do'...?】
【Um... it looks like the victim of a brutal murder...】
【That's a thousand times scarier than killing it in one punch!?】
【And she's STILL got the option of ditching her tea and dress, plus all her magic weapons】
【She casually said 'beat it to death' lmao】
【The viewers are horrified lol】
【Mitsuki-sama is the only one cheering with joy!?】
【But seriously, that enhanced minotaur was tough...】
【Surviving nineteen punches from the ojou-sama, even with the tea handicap? What a monster!】
【Wait, why is everyone MORE impressed by the minotaur for dying in twenty punches than by Karin ojou-sama for punching it to death!?】
【It's common knowledge now that common sense doesn't apply to Karin ojou-sama...】
【Everything about this stream is insane...】
Having killed even an enhanced minotaur, one of the most blunt-force-resistant monsters in the lower layers, with her bare hands in seconds, Karin sprinted on Elegantly. She dodged every attack in her dress while holding her tea, as though it were perfectly natural.
"The lower-layer boss is much softer than a minotaur, desu wa!"
"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?"
Floor 1 boss of the lower layers: beaten to death.
"Ah, a large chimera! I won't make the same mistake this time. I'll crush you before your poison mist makes the screen hard to see, desu no!"
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?"
Floor 2 boss: killed in seconds. Floor 3 boss: much the same.
"KYAAAAAAAAAH! Keep following your own insane path of Elegance, Karin ojou-samaaaaa!"
Karin's tea-fueled advance continued, and Mitsuki's stream turned completely into a cheering screening. Her shrieks reverberated through her commentary, to the point where the hashtag #PleaseActuallyCommentateMitsukiSama began trending. Word also spread abroad that the formerly cool-headed Samurai Girl had gone crazy. Mitsuki's little viral moment overseas ended up contributing considerably to the spread of Karin's deep-layer conquest stream.
〇
"Phew...! That's the lower layers conquered, desu wa!"
In the boss room on floor 4 of the lower layers, Karin let out a long breath over her tea. She had dispatched the <Venom Jelly>, a notorious monster considered among the strongest lower-layer bosses, in no time.
【Seriously... she even beat <Venom Jelly> barehanded and with tea, without a scratch...】
【I don't get it... What happened to its powerful poison that dissolves weapons, its regeneration and its ability to blend into its surroundings...?】
【Hint: the ojou-sama's maxed-out poison resistance, her history of defeating a wyrm with better regeneration than <Venom Jelly>, and her ridiculous detection abilities】
【Her dress is made from <Venom Jelly> materials in the first place...】
【Even so, killing it instantly with tea and a dress is abnormal!?】
【It fired a super-fast venom-covered needle at her, and she caught it in midair and threw it back lmao】
【Ojou-sama... have you gotten even stronger since last time...?】
【Is this person even human...?】
【In appearance, at least...】
【Not even her appearance. A dress and tea in the lower layers looks downright inhuman】
Karin's absurd dungeon conquest had chat in a frenzy. Even with the last lower-layer boss defeated and Karin taking a breather, the comments kept moving too fast for ordinary eyes to follow. But that was only natural.
"...! Th-three million concurrents, desu no...!?"
The audience had grown still more while she smashed through the upper and middle layers and held her tea stream in the lower layers. Lately, she'd become somewhat used to unbelievable viewer counts. Even so, this staggering figure almost made another undignified sound escape her mouth.
(S-scary... And I've only cleared the lower layers...)
Perhaps Mitsuki's hard work on her commentary stream had helped. This unprecedented number chilled her far more than the prospect of conquering the deep layers.
(But Mafuyu said as many people as possible need to see this stream! I'll keep up the pace!)
Karin didn't really think she was trying anything particularly amazing, but Mafuyu had told her that, at least 'according to official records,' a minor conquering the deep layers alone was undoubtedly a great feat. Accomplishing it live would go a long way toward dispelling the allegations and spare the people dear to her further trouble. And the more people witnessed it firsthand, the stronger its effect would be.
"Now for today's main event at last—the deep layers, desu wa!"
Three million viewers was no reason to get cold feet. She needed to grow the number further if anything. She declared her intention proudly, reluctantly putting away her tea as Mafuyu had instructed. Ahead of her, an entrance gaped at the far end of the boss room, leading to the deep layers.
【Here we go...】
【Smashing the upper and middle layers and the lower-layer tea run were so wild I'd almost forgotten, but she's REALLY going to the deep layers...】
【Now I'm getting nervous...】
【She beat the deep-layer boss Storm Dragon in Shibuya without a scratch, so I think she'll be fine... but who knows what monsters she'll find down there, or how many...?】
【Ojou-sama, please, PLEASE be careful!】
【You can't dispel any allegations if you die!】
【Karin ojou-sama's been all over the trending lists for ages, but now 'Entering the Deep Layers' is rocketing up too】
【Messengers are swarming every stream, posting 'Karin ojou-sama just entered the deep layers!'】
【Normally you can't just watch someone stream from the deep layers...】
【How high is the viewer count going to go?】
【Please be careful, Karin ojou-sama!】
Worried comments multiplied explosively. But as Karin walked on, their tone changed from concern to bewildered screaming.
【Wait?】
【H-hold on, ojou-sama!?】
【Karin ojou-sama!? You're walking into the deep layers, but aren't you going to change!?】
【What is she doing!?】
【I KNEW this would happen!】
【Why is she going into the deep layers wearing a dress!?】
【I was a fool to think she'd change into serious gear...】
【Karin ojou-sama, just to be sure, do you mean to charge into the deep layers in THAT dress!?】
"Of course, desu wa!" Karin answered cheerfully as the horrified chat poured in. "Since we have so many new viewers, let me explain again. I wanted to become a dungeon streamer because I admired Setsuna-sama in the anime Dungeon Alive. She gave me courage back then, and I wanted to entertain all of you with an Elegant conquest, wearing a dress and never letting a monster so much as graze me! This dress, then, is the best outfit I own and the very origin of my streaming. I'm hardly going to change out of it over a little challenge like the deep layers, desu no!"
【No way this girl is serious!?】
【Wait, Karin-sama! If you want to stream in a dress down there, you can do it AFTER clearing the place once!?】
【She went untouched while drinking tea in the lower layers, so maybe... No, she still needs to go in fully prepared! The deep layers are another world!】
【Enhanced variants aren't even unusual in the lower layers here. Assume the deep layers of a high-difficulty dungeon are worse than normal too!?】
【She's attempting the extra-difficult deep layers for the first time in a dress. Is she out of her mind!?】
【Is she pushing herself to clear the allegations!? Will she REALLY be okay!?】
【Forget the world record for the deepest floor a minor has reached, she's going for the world record in idiocy!?】
【You're going to win a Darwin Award, ojou-sama!】
@Mitsuki: THAT'S Karin ojou-sama for you! Anyone who emitted such abnormally dense mana that just being near it would knock an ordinary person unconscious can handle this much...!
【Mitsuki ojou-sama, could you please go back to your cheering screening!?】
【Our hearts can't take Karin ojou-sama getting any more outrageous!】
【Mitsuki-sama getting scolded lmao】
【Wait, what is this about mana that could knock someone out...?】
【Hey hey hey, she's REALLY entered the deep layers in a dress!?】
As chat wailed, Karin stepped into the region known as the deep layers with a carefree expression.
Like the floors before it, it was a dim cavern, with mana providing enough light to see. But this space was vastly wider and higher-ceilinged, with an enormous passage that hardly felt underground. As though something lurked here that could only fit in a space this large—
That was when it happened.
DODODODODODOOOOOOOO!
A tremor shook the entire dungeon, and a vast surge of water rushed from the darkness, like an overflowing river. But it wasn't merely water.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A dragon made entirely of water. A flood with a will of its own. No other description could capture the threat bearing down to swallow Karin whole.
【WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?】
【What the hell is that!?】
【A flash-flood trap!?】
【No, isn't it a monster!?】
【A water dragon!?】
【If it swallows her, she's done for!?】
【That's beyond anything a large slime could do! What IS that!?】
【A literal natural disaster showed up right away!?】
【The deep layers are too damn dangerous!?】
【Ojou-sama, seriously, you should change!】
【Would changing even help against that!?】
【Retreat! The passage is right behind you!】
Chat panicked at her welcome to the deep layers. But—
"Oh! As expected of the deep layers!" Karin cried delightedly. "A spectacular monster right from the start, perfect for the stream! What a wonderful beginning, desu wa~!"
Just as she had when she once encountered an irregularity, Karin clenched her fist and turned sparkling eyes toward the approaching catastrophe.
―――――――――――――――――――――――――――
The word count got away from me, partly because Mitsuki-sama was so lively...
We'll get Black Tiger's reaction later.
Also, sorry! My wording last time was unclear: Okutama Dungeon has four floors in the deep layers, and Black Tiger has explored as far as floor 3. In other words, just as Karin fought four bosses in the lower layers this time, there are four bosses awaiting her in the deep layers too! (I've corrected the unclear passage.)