ch41-ch60 · 060-ch59

Chapter 59

"???" "Surprised he's doing two streams in one day, what's this?" "Sup bro~" "Came here from the stream announcement on social media" "The scene is..." "Is Toru-bro's hobby confusing us or what?" "A announcement saying 'got something to talk about' leads to this scene..." "There's a cat beast-person little girl and a cat beast-person lady and a human lady" "Tia-tan is cute" "Wait a sec. There's a little girl" "Should we report Toru-bro?" "Sorry Toru-bro. Explain please" "Why are we being shown Toru-bro eating curry with a family?" "Toru-bro, didn't all your family die?"

The stream's chat was a storm of question marks, and Kawai Sakiho thought, well, that was to be expected, as she looked at her own mobile device displaying the stream to read comments.

Normally, a casual talk stream was one person alone in their room — not that they necessarily had to be pitiful — but one streamer chatting with a large audience.

Instead, they were at Hayasaka Toru's place, having brought the table from the Sonoyama household over, with plates of curry in front of everyone, and no one had started eating yet.

The occupants: Hayasaka Toru, the homeowner. Tia, the holy sword spirit attached to him. Shenna Sharyi Sonoyama, the cat beast-person mother. Mika Sharyi Sonoyama, the cat beast-person daughter. And Kawai Sakiho.

"Ahahaha! You've got tons of viewers! Toru, you're seriously trending!"

Shenna cackled, but for someone who'd suggested this stream in the first place, she sounded way too detached.

"Yeah, even I'm freaked out. Still doesn't feel real. Anyway... the stream's started. Uh... I can't really explain this well myself, but somehow it ended up like this. For now, we're gonna eat, so you guys grab something to eat too."

"That explained absolutely nothing lmao" "What the hell are we being shown here lol" "Dinner looks like curry" "Who are the new characters besides Tia-tan?" "What does Toru-bro want to consult about?"

"Sorry. First off, there's a hungry kid here, so we're gonna start eating."

"...Toru, can I eat?"

Mika, who'd been staring intently at her curry plate, twitched her cat ears at Toru's words and lifted the spoon in her hand.

"Yeah, go ahead. Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu. I like Mom's curry."

"Itadakimaaasu. Mmm, totally ordinary curry."

"I'll have some too. Ah, this is a spice dish. Huh. It's delicious!"

"...Um... excuse me, itadakimasu..."

Honestly, Sakiho wasn't in the mood to eat curry, and this wasn't really the time for it, but since she'd been swept along and curry had been placed in front of her, refusing would be rude. Checking her mobile, the current viewer count was eighteen thousand. Right after the stream started — it would only grow.

Having to eat curry in front that many people, nervous about the conversation to come, was an extremely difficult task for Sakiho, but the nostalgic taste of the curry in her mouth made her forget everything for just a moment.

"They're just eating lmao" "Getting hungry" "Is this a food terrorism stream?" "Homemade curry is good too" "This scene is way too bizarre lol what do you want advice on lol"

"Ah... this is hard to explain, but first, let's start with the situation. The person at the far end is Kawai Sakiho-san. Until yesterday, she worked the front desk at the Sugai Dungeon labyrinth branch. The cat beast-person lady over here is, uh... let's just call her cat lady. The kid here is her daughter. They're my neighbors. She shared some curry with us."

"Man your explanation is super rough. Howdy, viewers. I'm Shenna, Toru-bro's neighbor. This is my daughter Mika. I'm a single mom working nights. Sometimes when I'm working, I have Toru look after my daughter. Not every time. Today I had the day off, and when Mika and I got home, we found Kawai-chan sitting in front of Toru's place, so I figured I'd let her wait at our place."

Maybe it was because of her profession, but Shenna's speech was very smooth.

It wasn't the kind of skill that came from being good at explaining or being logical. It was a different type of eloquence — the kind that made things flow into your ears smoothly.

"Still don't really get it" "Got it — there's a slightly lewd lady next door to bro" "Toru-bro, stop eating curry with a dead face lol"

"Hey... I don't even know how this happened either... Sonoyama-san said 'let's stream' so I turned the stream on... but like, Kawai-san says she wants to talk or something. Anyway, the curry's good."

"Mom's curry is delicious."

Mika puffed out her chest, and she was freaking adorable.

The viewers seemed to feel the same way, as the chat turned into a stream of praise for the cat beast-person little girl, completely ignoring the main topic.

In fact, the main topic hadn't even been broached.

"It's just ordinary curry, though. Anyway, Toru's viewers — would you mind listening to Kawai-chan's story? I feel like if Toru heard it alone, he'd get annoyed and just forgive her half-heartedly."

"Forgive her for what?" "Wait, hold on. She's the front desk girl from Toru-bro's cleaner days, right?" "Ah" "Framed him, didn't she?" "The one who suspected fraud because his magic core submissions were abnormal?" "She's also the report-suppression woman" "And she's eating curry!"

"Well, I mean, if it's put in front of you, you eat"

Sakiho felt the inside of her heart cower at being found out, but at the same time, she felt a strange sense of relief that she was finally going to be held accountable.

She stopped eating the curry she'd consumed about a third of, put down her spoon, took a sip of water from her glass, then moved in front of the table and approached the camera. Then she sat in a proper seiza position, took a breath, and spoke.

"Viewers of Hayasaka-san. As introduced, I'm Kawai Sakiho. Just as you all said, I'm the woman who tried to frame Hayasaka-san with false accusations."

"What's with the balls on this bitch" "Pulling Toru-bro's leg while he was diligently cleaning every day, and now you're eating curry? What did you come here for?" "Wait wait. Put the curry thing aside. It'd be rude not to eat if it's put in front of you. But seriously, what did you come here for?" "Came to suck up now that bro's blown up?" "Then what's the point of revealing you're the false accuser?"

"Ah... so like, Sonoyama-san said maybe the viewers should judge or something. Whether the magic core submissions were abnormal or the reports were suppressed — honestly, I don't really care anymore. I already cleared my name by streaming before I blew up."

Toru spoke with an expression that looked truly, utterly indifferent, and kept eating his curry. The occasional sight of him wiping curry off Mika's cheek with a tissue was so far removed from Sakiho's image of Hayasaka Toru that it disoriented her, but that was a minor detail.

"Um... about that matter, I do have an apology as well. Hayasaka-san, I'm truly sorry for all my rudeness up to—"

"If you're gonna dogeza, I'll throw you out of my house."

Toru's voice was like liquid nitrogen. The words that slipped out smoothly were cold enough to freeze everything.

A chill that made her feel an illusion of her heart aching.

Not through reason — she thought she'd just died.

A sense of death far more hopeless than that 'Giant Serpent.'

But Toru immediately clicked his tongue, put his curry spoon in his mouth, chewed for a moment, then took the spoon out and shook his head.

"...No, sorry. That was a bit of misplaced anger. But I don't have a hobby of enjoying watching other people do dogeza, so if you're gonna consider how I feel, please don't do that dogeza stuff."

"...Yes. I apologize again. For my rudeness up until now, and for this impertinent visit — I'm truly sorry."

"...Scary!" "That instant rage. If I wasn't me, I'd have shit myself" "Good thing I went to the bathroom"

"Well, in modern society, dogeza is basically coercion of forgiveness. If you've got decent sensibilities, having someone do dogeza wouldn't make you feel good."

"Like I said earlier, I don't really care anymore. Kawai-san, are you... uh... here because you want me to forgive you?"

"No. I don't want to be forgiven. As I said on the phone, I have something to discuss with Hayasaka-san, and I've taken the liberty of your time to do so."

"Huh. Well, go ahead. Mind if I keep eating?"

"Of course."

When Sakiho nodded, Toru went right back to eating his curry. Mika, sitting next to him, seemed unbothered by his attitude and was eating her curry normally. Tia, who seemed to eat fast, already had an empty plate and was watching Sakiho with interest — and Shenna, who'd suggested this stream, was watching Toru and Sakiho alternately with a smirking grin.

Sakiho let out a breath and spoke.

"Hayasaka Toru-san. I'd like to assist you in your activities as an explorer. That's what I came to talk about."

"...Huh?"

Toru's eyes went round as he looked at Sakiho, as if he truly had no idea what she meant. He looked like he'd just witnessed a Kansai-dialect-speaking Martian sumo wrestling.

"Please let me support you as an explorer. That's the request I came to make today. Would you please allow me to help you?"

"............"

"What unbelievably shameless lmao" "Help how? With the simple job of framing bro?" "In the first place, why did this bitch frame him?" "Probably looked down on him for being a rock-bottom cleaner" "She's got that high-caste face" "Bias much lmao"

Toru froze, and the chat grew lively.

Well, if she came out and said something like this, of course they'd react this way. She'd expected this when Shenna suggested the stream — but actually being confronted with it, every criticism she saw pierced her heart like a needle.

"Um, can I say something?"

Tia raised her hand hesitantly. Around then, Mika seemed to have finished her curry, carrying her empty plate to the kitchen. Shenna naturally followed Mika, fading out of the stream frame.

"Yes, of course."

"What do you mean by helping? And why did you decide to do that? I don't know much about it, but you looked down on Toru, and you didn't have any motivation for your reception work either, right?"

"Because I nearly died in yesterday's Sugai Dungeon 'Rampage.'"

At Sakiho's answer, Toru's eyebrow twitched. Even Sakiho could tell that a flicker of interest had appeared on his face, which had looked utterly indifferent.

"She nearly died?" "Come to think of it, the Sugai Dungeon labyrinth branch was destroyed. The false accuser bitch worked there" "Just because she nearly died, why does that lead to wanting to help bro?"

"I know this will be self-indulgent... but may I continue?"

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Can't understand without you telling us."

"What a waste of time on this woman" "Just send her away and have a casual chat" "What happened with the heiress after that? Gonna explore again?" "Speaking of which, the government hasn't made any announcement about this 'Dungeon Rampage' yet" "It's been almost a full day"

"Um... I'm complete trash."

"Oh?" "There it is, the 'well I guess I'm the bad guy' move. Truly a bitch" "No wait. Women like that don't call themselves trash." "Whatever. Bro's in listening mode, so let's hear her out first." "Doesn't change the fact she's the false accuser bitch though"

The viewer comments stung.

Her chest hurt, but that was far better than not feeling pain at all.

"Honestly, working at the Sugai Dungeon labyrinth branch was painful. The chief clerk hadn't shown up in over a year, and the other receptionists assigned to Sugai Dungeon barely came to the office either. They pushed almost all the work on me and I think they just killed time at city hall. I don't actually know what they did."

Sakiho talked.

She wasn't an eloquent speaker like Shenna, but she could still let out the words she'd been turning over in her head. About being transferred to the labyrinth branch. About how Hayasaka Toru had come as a cleaner, day after day cleaning Sugai Dungeon. You could tell how many monsters he'd killed just from the number of magic cores. He'd been killing an impossible number for a cleaner with less than D-rank explorer status.

"I thought it was meaningless. Even if Toru didn't do it, when signs of a 'Rampage' appeared, they could just send explorers to explore the depths... but that's not it. I was just averting my eyes from the fact that I was meaningless and worthless."

Caught in Sugai Dungeon's 'Rampage,' watching the 'Giant Serpent' rampage before her eyes — without Section Chief Sadoyama, she would definitely have died.

And when she was rescued, she realized — a woman who had left nothing 'good' in this world was simply existing, just like before.

Having survived, the resignation she'd felt at the time — that dying then would have been acceptable — now felt impossibly distant. She never wanted to be in that situation again. She didn't want to die. She wanted to live. She was glad to be alive... this worthless woman?

She didn't want to live the same way as before.

She didn't want a life where even at death's door, she couldn't muster any decent regrets.

"I want to be able to hold my head up high — even just a little — and feel that it's okay for me to exist in this world. I don't want to die. I don't want to go through something like that again. But... the me from yesterday would have looked at someone like me and thought 'they should just die.' Completely ignoring my own faults, thinking trash like this should just die..."

Before she knew it, Sakiho had lowered her head and was staring at the screen of her mobile device. About half of the comments scrolling through the stream's chat were insulting her. Nobody needs to hear this bitch's story anymore. So what? The past doesn't disappear. There's a limit to shamelessness. Leave Toru-bro alone and go do some atonement somewhere else. Nobody's interested in your story. Apologizing now is too late.

How many people in this chat were trash just like her?

Probably not many.

But — probably not zero either.

And that fact didn't absolve Sakiho of anything.

She raised her head.

Toru was looking at her with a deeply serious expression.

"Hayasaka-san. I know this is an impertinent request. But I believe I can be useful to you. While I was wasting time meaninglessly at the Sugai Dungeon branch, Hayasaka-san was doing what he could. It's too late to say this now... but I truly respect that. Please, let me help you."

She didn't do a dogeza, but she bowed her head anyway.

She was fully aware this was a selfish request. Some of the viewers were probably genuinely angry. "Now the false accuser bitch wants to atone? How convenient. I don't want to see you. I'm not interested. Please just disappear. You're too much of a nuisance. Don't get carried away, trash. You're only bowing your head because Toru-bro blew up."

That was exactly right. She had no words to refute that. If Hayasaka Toru had stayed a cleaner at Sugai Dungeon, if that 'Dungeon Rampage' hadn't happened, Kawai Sakiho would have stayed the same person. An empty woman who couldn't even muster regrets in the face of death... probably past the age where she could turn back.

Of course, even now, saying this out of the blue might be too late. She might have long since crossed the watershed, and no matter what she did, the moment when she could live with her head held high might never come. As some viewers said, maybe the right answer was to disappear somewhere and live in apologetic obscurity.

Then was she supposed to live the rest of her life carrying a trash label just to make those people feel better?

No.

The only person who had the right to punch her was Hayasaka Toru.

Anyone else could say whatever they wanted, and she'd accept that she deserved it.

But that didn't mean she was going to live for them.

"Ah... Kawai-san. So basically, witnessing the 'Dungeon Rampage' changed your outlook on life, right? You can't live the same way as before."

At Toru's concise summary, Sakiho nodded.

That was exactly it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Toru stuck his curry spoon into his water glass, then tilted his head slightly.

"So, what exactly do you mean by help? I'm guessing you said that because you thought you could be useful, but practically speaking, what part of my explorer activities do you intend to help with?"

"All administrative procedures."

At her answer, Toru looked blank for a moment, then gave a small wry smile. Sakiho pressed a hand to her thundering heart and continued.

"Even when I was working the front desk at the branch, I always thought that Hayasaka-san doesn't really like paperwork. He finds it troublesome. And it is troublesome. I don't think it's good to take up Hayasaka Toru's time with paperwork-type tasks."

This person — even back when he had no power, he'd kept doing what he needed to do, over and over. Sakiho had no idea what drove him, but the person the meaningless, worthless Kawai Sakiho had looked down on had lived his life accumulating meaning, day by day, little by little.

He probably wasn't acknowledged by anyone. Never praised. Just as Sakiho had done, he was probably looked down on constantly.

And then that person gained power.

He would surely sow something 'good' in this world. He probably had no intention of doing 'good.' He just did what he decided to do. In that sense, you could even say nothing had changed from before.

With his languid attitude, his foul mouth, a former rock-bottom cleaner without a high school diploma... he was, as far as Sakiho knew, the most respectable person in the world.

Such a person's time shouldn't be spent on procedures and paperwork that someone else could handle.

"Is this... a job application...?" "Don't be fooled, Toru-bro. Women like this don't change." "Speaking of which, she's a civil servant at the labyrinth branch. When she says 'help,' does she actually mean help? Considering Toru-bro's future activities, doing it part-time wouldn't work." "In other words, she wants to ride on Toru-bro's coattails and have an easy time, right?"

"I've quit my job. Section Chief Sadoyama accepted my resignation. The Sugai Dungeon labyrinth branch where I worked has been physically destroyed, and there's nothing to hand over. If I stayed on as a civil servant without quitting, I'd probably be assigned some desk work at city hall. But I'd likely be gradually pushed out and forced to resign anyway. Most of all — I have no attachments to that job anymore."

She looked at Hayasaka Toru — no, at the explorer Toru.

The Toru she'd dealt with at the labyrinth branch front desk had always seemed languid, unmotivated, and hadn't even looked at her. But that was because she hadn't been properly looking at him either.

"...I don't think I've asked this yet."

Toru said, after thinking for a moment.

Very seriously, very quietly.

"When you nearly died in that 'Dungeon Rampage,' and then when you survived — what kind of change happened in your heart? Would you tell me?"

Why?

His voice, asking that question, sounded a little gentle to her.