ch21-ch40 · 034-ch33

Chapter 33 (Prologue of Chapter 2)

...How did it come to this?

Hayasaka Toru—Toru—had somehow made it back to his rundown apartment, and while putting a mini stockpot of water on the stove in the kitchen, he glanced at the women picking at the tea and snacks he'd bought at the convenience store, and let out a deep sigh.

There were three of them gathered around the table Toru used as his dining table.

The swordswoman Tia, who was attached to the holy sword Lightbringer—well, that was fine. Since Lightbringer seemed to be connected to Toru's soul, he could accept her as something like a holy sword spirit, and resign himself to it.

She could apparently dissolve her manifestation and disappear if she wanted, but he didn't feel like telling her to do that. By the way, the holy sword was leaning against the wall by the entrance to the living room, and that was fine too.

Next was Mika, the child from a single-parent household living in the next room, a cat beast-person.

Her age... he thought she was around early elementary school, but he wasn't sure.

It was already late at night, but apparently her mother had to go to work, and had contacted her saying she couldn't come home because of the whole "Dungeon Rampage" thing. So Mika had been sitting in front of Toru's apartment door. Toru thought maybe he should just give her a key to his place already.

From now on, he probably wouldn't be coming home at a fixed time like he did when he was a cleaner.

Though honestly, Toru himself had no idea what was going to happen from here.

And then—the silver-haired elf.

Ilseria Lumiestel.

A woman of such breathtaking, sculptural beauty she looked like she'd stepped out of a movie. Going by appearance alone, you might even describe her as a girl, but according to Tia, "It wouldn't be strange if she's over a hundred years old."

The elven race had appeared on the Atlantis continent, which rose to the east-northeast of Australia after the World Fusion.

They had their own culture, their own writing, their own language—a remarkably high intelligence. And if he had to add something, an absurdly high sense of pride too.

He'd gotten a ride to his apartment in the wagon of the A-rank explorer clan "Anthem," who'd come to pick him up at Noumi Dungeon... but the elf had insisted on stopping at a convenience store along the way, bought all sorts of things, and then got out of the car along with Toru.

"What are you staring at? I'm well aware that my presence in this dump of a house seems suspicious, but doubting reality is the work of fools."

That was what she said the moment their eyes met.

Toru didn't have a taste for being scolded by beautiful women, so he clicked his tongue in genuine irritation, but Ilseria didn't press the attack.

Letting out a resigned sigh, he added salt to the boiling water, pulled out a wok, tossed in crushed garlic, added olive oil, and heated it. He waited for the oil to heat up and the garlic's aroma to infuse into it, then threw in the canned whole tomatoes he always kept on hand.

He tossed dried pasta into the mini stockpot, and while heating the tomatoes in the wok to cook off the acidity, he also threw together a salad. Well, "threw together" meant he just chopped some vegetables and drizzled a dressing he'd made by mixing mayonnaise with various seasonings and things.

While doing all that, a minute before the pasta was done boiling, he added pasta water to the tomato sauce that had reduced in the wok, then tossed in the still-firm pasta. Since it was a hassle, he casually threw in some MSG-free chicken broth powder to add umami, adjusted the sauce consistency while shaking the wok, and when it felt like the sauce had kind of emulsified, he plated the pasta, sprinkled on grated cheese, and scattered dried basil.

"It's ready."

The moment he called out, the cat beast-person girl Mika grabbed her plate like she'd been waiting for this. Tia approached with a look that said "Can I have some too?" so he pointed at a plate, and she obediently carried it over.

Ilseria stayed seated without moving, so Toru had no choice but to bring her portion along with his own to the table.

"So this is what they call spaghetti al pomodoro. They say about twenty percent of single men living alone get into cooking... well, what do you know, it's actually decent."

She started eating the moment the plate was set down, saying things like that.

Mika, who always pressed her hands together and said "Itadakimasu" before eating, looked startled by Ilseria's table manners, but when she saw Toru pressing his hands together without engaging with Ilseria, she hurriedly pressed her small hands together too.

"Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu. I like Toru's pasta."

"It looks delicious. Okay, itadakimasu."

Tia pressed her hands together too, as if she was used to this Japanese ritual by the second time, but she might have thought it was a ritual only performed in front of children. Because when they'd eaten at a hamburger steak restaurant, or when they'd eaten convenience store buns in the car, Toru hadn't pressed his hands together or said itadakimasu.

He figured he should at least set a good example in front of a child... but well, there was no point in suddenly acting proper in front of Tia now.

"Toru. Mom said you became famous, or something. Toru, are you famous?"

In between chewing her pasta with a munchy-munchy sound, Mika blurted that out. Apparently Mika's mother was the type to check social media.

"Ah, I guess I went viral or somethin'. But that elf chick over there is way more famous. S-rank explorer, and super hot, right? No clue why she's eatin' at my place though."

"What, are you hitting on me? If you think I'm the cheap kind of woman who'd be flattered by being told something as obvious as that I'm beautiful, you're sorely mistaken. You should think more carefully about your words."

"Shut it, I'm not hittin' on ya. Aren't you just a little self-absorbed? Also, you got tomato sauce on the corner of your mouth, dumbass."

"Wh—what?!"

Her skin was pale, so it was easy to tell when her cheeks flushed. Ilseria grabbed several tissues from Toru's stash and started wiping her mouth, and Toru snorted "Heh" at her, but when he thought about it, he really didn't care that much.

"I mean, why're you eatin' at my place anyway?"

"Because you made it, obviously."

"If you actually thought I was asking that and answered that way, then I've gotta raise both hands and surrender to Her Highness the Elf's noble and profound intellect."

"...You have a surprisingly rich vocabulary for insults, don't you?"

She narrowed her eyes as if exasperated, but surprisingly—or maybe not—she showed no anger, and as if eating was more important than that question, she moved her fork and brought the pasta to her mouth.

Glancing sideways at Tia, she was continuing her meal as if Toru and Ilseria's exchange had nothing to do with her, while Mika watched them with her cheeks stuffed full of pasta. She seemed interested, but probably didn't understand what they were saying.

Well, not that Toru understood it either.

"Toru, and Ilseria was it? I'm not telling you to get along, but don't fight in front of the kid."

Tia sounded exasperated.

Of course Toru understood that. And from her occasional glances at the cat beast-person girl with an uncomfortable expression, it seemed Ilseria understood too. The problem was that even when you understood, there were things you just couldn't help.

"...You two—well, more specifically, Toru... Hayasaka Toru, was it. I came here to determine whether you're dangerous or not. Although my main role was babysitting Anthem. I also had some concern about whether those girls were being fooled by some strange man."

Carefully twirling the pasta around her fork, putting it in her mouth, chewing it properly, and swallowing before speaking—that was how the elf talked.

"Well, I guess I get why you'd be worried. But that means you're eatin' food made by a guy you don't know if he's dangerous or not?"

"Getting poison strong enough to kill me would require diving into an S-rank dungeon at the very least. How would a man who was a cleaner in the upper layers of a D-rank dungeon until very recently, and who looks obviously poor, get his hands on such poison?"

"...Who knows. How should I know. So? What's the verdict from Her Highness the Elf, who possesses abundant intellect and nobility and the right to pass judgment on others? If I am dangerous, what are you gonna do?"

As he spoke, Toru took his right hand off his fork and deliberately brought it close to his left palm. A gesture saying he could pull out the cursed blade "Kagetsu" at any time.

Ilseria, however, just shrugged lightly at Toru and shifted to the task of emptying her plate by moving her fork and mouth.

At the very least, she didn't seem to intend to do anything here.

He'd be in trouble if she did—but if it came to that, he was prepared to deal with it.

"...Elf, do you not like Toru?"

Mika glared at Ilseria with a sharp look. The cat beast-person child's straightforward question and gaze made Ilseria look slightly flustered.

"Mmm, well, y'see, this elf said a lot of mean things to Toru and made him angry. Whether you like someone or not, if someone says mean things to you, it makes you feel bad, right?"

Tia said something that could be either a helping hand or an additional attack. Naturally, Mika's gaze grew sharper, and the elf's gaze was conspicuously averted.

It seemed she wasn't so hopeless as to be domineering even toward a child.

"............"

"...Elf?"

"............"

"...Elf, aren't you going to say sorry to Toru?"

"............"

"...Elf, do you hate Toru?"

"...Sorr..."

"...Elf?"

"...S-s-s... ghhh...! Sorr... haah! Haah! S-s-s... ughhhhh! S-s... uuuuugh!"

"That's creepin' me out. Don't force yourself, you damn elf."

Watching Ilseria clench both fists and tremble as she struggled to force out the words of apology, Toru was genuinely creeped out. Even if she did manage an apology, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

Not that he'd forgive her just because she apologized a little.

"So, what's your take on Toru, Ilseria?"

Tia's question was—should he call it a reset, or a helping hand?

"Haa... haa... You people might think I'm some kind of dangerous person, but I came from the Holy Tree Country to Japan and I'm sensible enough to live a normal social life, all right? Even if I judged you to be dangerous, I'd only report it to the appropriate authorities."

Toru thought that was the kind of statement that made you lose sight of the definition of "common sense," but he kept quiet since there was no point in stirring things up further.

"So the government manages dungeons, right?"

Tia looked puzzled. Her tone was light, as if she didn't really care.

"Most countries do. Labyrinth produce—magic cores, drop items from monsters, all that—they're indispensable to society now. You could say they hold the nation's infrastructure hostage, threatening explorers that if they don't contribute to the country, they're criminals."

"Didn't explorers push back against that?"

"I guess there was some back in the day. But it's normal for taxes to be taken out when you work. Apparently almost no one disagreed with having taxes deducted from the profits top explorers made. Even the explorers themselves find it easier when taxes are already taken out of their pay, and they get the absolution of 'contributing to society.'"

"Huh...? You'd think some of the really powerful explorers would be outlaws... oh, I guess some kind of self-cleansing mechanism kicks in."

Tia seemed satisfied with her own conclusion, and Toru shrugged.

"The world ain't made up of just explorers and dungeons. Even S-rank explorers buy bottles of tea at convenience stores and buy snack foods."

"Convenience stores are really convenient, aren't they? I was amazed that one near where the Dungeon Rampage happened was still open for business normally."

"...Well, the manager probably couldn't get in touch with anyone."

The Labyrinth Department's section chief, Sadoyama Koji, had bought time at the scene, and thanks to Tia's efforts, the Sugai Dungeon's "Dungeon Rampage" was suppressed without major damage. But if that hadn't happened, the entire surrounding area would have been completely destroyed.

Of course, the nearby convenience store, the 24-hour supermarket he often used, Mika who'd been told by her mom she couldn't come home—this whole rundown apartment—would all have been smashed to pieces.

"Thank you for the meal. It wasn't bad. I'll be borrowing your bath, then. Cat beast-person, your mother isn't coming home tonight, is she? As a special favor, I'll allow you to bathe with me."

"I'm done too. ...Elf, you're kind of nice?"

Mika tilted her head, and Ilseria smiled faintly.

It was an almost painfully beautiful and noble sight, but he wished she wouldn't use someone else's bath without permission. Though arguing was probably pointless.

"Do you even have a change of clothes? I'm pretty sure you only bought drinks and snacks at the convenience store. I mean, are you planning to stay the night?"

"For a top explorer like myself, carrying a personal magic bag is standard. Of course I have a change of clothes and a toothbrush. I'm fully equipped with bath towels, face wash, shampoo, and conditioner. Come now, cat beast-person, let's go."

Flashing a smug look as she stood up, and heading toward the bathroom with Mika in tow as if it were the most natural thing in the world—Toru had nothing left to say.

"...I mean, I wanna take a bath too, y'know."

"Well, you'll just have to wait. I'd like to take one too, but after you're done with the bath, I'll quietly dissolve my manifestation for today. I'll close my eyes alone in the holy sword, feeling the void. Since I was its former partner, it's the perfect bed for me."

"Hey, why do you sound all bitter about it? You can take a bath whenever you want after I'm done. I'm not so poor that I gotta worry about the water bill."

"There, there. I really like this side of you, Toru."

Tia nodded with a knowing look, which annoyed Toru a little. She acted like she was caught up in all this too, but to say this holy sword spirit was the cause of everything—well, that might be going too far.

He'd been a cleaner, just killing weak monsters in the upper layers of a D-rank dungeon, when one day he stepped on a teleport trap and got thrown into a danger zone.

He was attacked by monsters he'd never seen before, fled into a room, and found two swords stuck in the floor. He pulled them out without thinking, and both turned out to be mythic-class weapons that interfered with the soul... and one of them, a Western-style sword, had the spirit of the swordswoman who once wielded it attached to it. That was Tia. The other was a cursed blade with a crimson-black blade, too ominous for words.

After all sorts of things happened, a female elf was now taking a bath in his house, together with the cat beast-person child from next door.

It was all too absurd, and finding the thread of meaning in all this to weave it into a coherent path was too much trouble for Toru right now.

"...How did it come to this?"

He muttered that much, carried the dishes left on the table to the sink, and washed them, but no one answered his question.

Not that he'd know what to do if someone did answer.