part2 · 103-ep103

Episode 103: The Feeling He Wanted to Convey

Night.

After Mizuki had gone to sleep.

Ren was alone in the living room.

The room's light was off. Beyond the window, the city's lights spread out.

"......"

Still sitting on the sofa, Ren quietly looked outside.

Since returning to the surface—

not much time had passed yet.

But. Even in that short time, Ren had been helped by Mizuki again and again.

When he'd had no place to return to. She'd welcomed him into her home. She'd made him meals. She'd bought him clothes.

She'd even gotten him a smartphone. She'd helped him get an ID. She'd even helped him open a bank account.

And then—

even now, like this, she was supporting his life.

"......"

Ren looked at his own hands.

In the dungeon. He had done everything alone.

His food. A place to sleep. Fighting. Even when he was injured.

Being helped by someone—that had never once happened.

That—

since returning to the surface, he'd been helped by Mizuki the entire time.

"......"

And yet.

He himself—

always gave nothing but short replies.

"...Yeah."

"...Got it."

"...I see."

Even when Mizuki spoke to him. That was almost all.

It wasn't that he disliked it.

Rather—

He was grateful. He understood that he was being helped.

But. He didn't know how to convey that.

"......"

Ren lowered his eyes.

Ten years. He hadn't spoken with anyone.

Even if he could fight monsters. Even if he could survive.

Talking with people, alone—

he no longer understood anything about it.

What to talk about. What words to return. What the other person wanted.

While he was thinking about such things—

in the end, only short words came out.

"......"

Ren let out a small breath.

This couldn't go on. That was what he thought.

Mizuki was doing all sorts of things for him. And yet. He wasn't conveying anything.

Thank you. You're helping me. I'm glad.

Even those simple words—

he wasn't conveying properly.

"......"

Ren thought for a while.

And then—

"...I'll tell her."

Tomorrow. He would convey his feelings to Mizuki.

He didn't know if he could speak well. He might get stuck for words along the way.

Even so. He decided he would convey it properly.

　　　　　◇

The next morning.

Mizuki came into the living room.

"...Morning, Ren."

"...Morning."

The usual morning.

But—

"...Mizuki."

"Hm?"

"...I have something I want to talk about."

Mizuki looked a little surprised.

"Something to talk about?"

"...Yeah."

Ren was a little nervous.

"...Sit down."

"Got it."

Mizuki sat on the sofa opposite. Ren sat too.

For a while—

he couldn't say anything.

"......"

"......"

Mizuki waited in silence.

Ren took one deep breath.

"...Sorry."

"...Huh?"

Mizuki's eyes widened.

"...All this time."

Ren continued slowly.

"Even though you've always been helping me."

"......"

"...I've been so curt with you."

Mizuki looked at Ren in silence.

"...I felt bad about it."

"Ren..."

"...But."

Ren got a little stuck for words.

"...I don't know how to say it."

"......"

"Ten years."

Ren hung his head.

"...I was in the dungeon."

"......"

"During that time, I didn't talk to anyone."

It was a quiet voice.

"So..."

Ren searched for words.

"...I don't know what to talk about."

"......"

"It's not that I dislike you, Mizuki."

"......"

"I know you've been helping me."

"......"

"...I'm grateful."

Just for the last words—

he said them clearly.

"......"

From Mizuki's eyes—

a single tear spilled.

"...Mizuki?"

Ren was startled. Mizuki hurriedly wiped her tears.

"...Sorry."

"......"

"I'm just happy..."

Another tear spilled.

"...Because I could never tell what you were thinking."

"......"

"No matter what I did..."

Mizuki laughed while wiping her tears.

"It was always just 'Yeah' or 'Got it.'"

"...Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize."

Mizuki shook her head.

"It's okay."

"......"

"Take your time."

With tears still in her eyes, Mizuki looked at Ren.

"You were alone for ten whole years, after all."

"......"

"It's only natural you can't talk the way you used to right away."

And then—

she smiled gently.

"I'll wait as long as it takes."

"......"

"So you don't have to push yourself."

"......"

"A little at a time is fine."

Ren looked at Mizuki in silence.

Somewhere deep in his chest—

felt just a little lighter.

"...Thank you."

Ren said.

Different from before. A short phrase.

Even so—

this time, he had been able to put his feelings into it.

"Yeah."

Mizuki smiled. While shedding tears.

"...Same to you."

　　　　　◇

Ten years.

Ren had lived alone.

So—

he had forgotten how to interact with people.

What to talk about. How to smile. How to convey his feelings.

He still didn't know.

Even so.

Today.

Ren, for the first time—

took a step forward.

Not in order to survive.

But in order to live alongside someone.