ch301-ch320 · 313-ch313

Chapter 313: Battles Without Honor or Humanity

"And this one? Is it standing on its own?"

Kasumi-san and I are alone in the warehouse, running experiments with 'Armor Manipulation.'

The standing armor takes one slow step, then another.

It's standing and walking, so I suppose you can call it self-standing.

Except I'm controlling every motion from inside my head—completely manual—so it's self-standing but not autonomous.

"Could you give it a little push with your spear?"

"Of course. ......Ahh, it has collapsed. I was not pushing hard, so the joints must be loose."

Kasumi-san gives it just a little prod with her spear's butt spike, and the armor crashes down with a clatter.

My armor is technically full plate, but it has gaps here and there.

It was made so the joint pieces never touch, to keep it silent.

When it stands up, the arm sections are floating completely free, yet somehow they move as if attached.

That's the mystery of skills for you.

Same as the way 【Multi-Spearman】's spears float—there's no explanation except that mana is holding them up.

"Operating it feels like there's an invisible mannequin inside that I'm moving around—and the moment you pushed, that mannequin lost its shape and vanished, apparently."

"I see. It certainly sounds like an amusing skill, but with that movement and that durability, I do not see it being much use."

So shedding your armor and doing a shadow clone trick doesn't work out so easily after all.

With practice I could probably move it a bit faster, though.

If I were inside the armor myself, the invisible mannequin wouldn't collapse—so my original plan, the power-assist style of use, may be the right call after all.

But trying a real mannequin inside was worth it.

"One more time. 【Charge・Armor・High】! 【Charge・Armor・Armor Enhancement・Armor・High】! 【Charge・Armor・Armor Manipulation】! Heave—ho, heave—ho, heave—ho!"

With the armor neatly rearranged, I activate the skills with a touch.

For some reason, once I've touched it and activated the skill, it keeps siphoning my MP even after I let go.

"Oh my? The box step, is it? Ah! ......You have made your usual mistake, Haruki-san, in the usual place."

Mid-step onto the wrong foot, it trips over its own feet, and the armor crumbles where it stands.

I'm the one operating it, so making mistakes in the same place is only natural.

"If we had it dance, would the buffs land on the armor? Or on me?"

If they land on the armor, then Robo-ko-san's robot would work just as well, wouldn't it.

A robot could dance with ease, straight from its program.

Come to think of it, Robo-ko-san did move to Chiba, but she only rented a warehouse and never opened a shop.

I'd hoped she'd open a robot shop. Disappointing.

"That may come down to Aikawa-san. Either way, it seems Haruki-san needs dance practice."

You're absolutely right......

【Charge・Armor・High】 drains 2 MP a second, so with 400 MP left, the experiment ended after 200 seconds.

By the way, with my remaining 2 skill points I picked up 【Charge・Armor・Impact Nullification】 and 【Charge・Armor・Armor Shot】.

'Armor Shot' launches a piece of the armor—fire off a charged one and I might end up a repeat of the newbie, so Floor 1 is no place to test it.

If I try it, it'll have to be the Floor 40 boss area.

Hm, the newbie?

She's back from Aomori, you know.

They say she test-fired a spear and bow at full charge on Floor 2 of the Aomori Dungeon and blew a hole clean through the dungeon wall.

The Aomori Dungeon shut down for five days.

Total losses ran to a billion yen, and it even hit my father's work—he handles dungeon-related food products......

It wasn't deliberate, so it was processed as an accident, and the newbie got off with a pay cut—but she couldn't exactly stay at the Aomori branch.

And so she came back to the Chiba branch.

Only, unlike before, she can't enter the dungeon—she's on surface duty now, being re-educated by Hayashi-san, apparently.

Once her re-education ends, they're talking about shipping her off to Saitama or Okinawa next......

︙

︙

"Crisis, crisis, CRISIS. It's a crisis—!"

Today is Umemoto-san's dance-lesson day, so everyone is at Dr. Amamiya's clinic.

Mia-san's leveling is on break too, and I was thinking of taking a nap—when Shiraishi-san barges into the warehouse.

What's today's formation supposed to be, exactly?

"Oh my? The upstairs is nice and tidy. And nothing down here at all."

That was close.

She's brought Hayashi-san with her......

The warehouse got inspected.

Normally the downstairs is full of things I couldn't show people, like the Silver Golem-san—but right now everything's been moved over to Mia-san's shop to make room for hauling golems in.

All that's left is our armor—not a thing here that would be a problem to be seen.

Second floor too, of course.

Close call, but I'd appreciate a little warning next time.

"So, what's this about?"

"She's stealing my customers! It's war, I say, WAR!"

What is this woman on about?

I can't follow, so I turn my gaze to Hayashi-san for an explanation.

"It seems fewer customers have been coming to the branch for healing magic lately. Big-ticket customers like athletes have been increasing, so revenue is actually up and nobody noticed—but our regular customers, or rather, our regulars, have stopped coming."

Regulars?

The neighborhood grandpas Shiraishi-san's been milking with her 【Heal】s?

Couldn't they just have gotten fed up with her?

Or did she reform lately and stop charging money, maybe?

"That homewrecking cat stole my customers, she did—"

There's the "stolen" again.

But to where?

No wait—who is this homewrecking cat?

Some new breed of 【Beast Transformation】 user?

I know a Panda, but... I signal Hayashi-san with my eyes to get on with it.

"That 【Healer】 in that suspicious nurse outfit! The regulars ARE coming to the dungeon, all right. But their destination is Dr. Amamiya's hospital. How was I supposed to notice? That woman—back when Shiraishi-san went off to help with a promotion request, she filled in at the branch treatment room as her substitute. That's when she made contact with the regulars, apparently. And then she sweet-talked them all into switching to the hospital."

The woman in the nurse outfit......

That would be Fuyumi-san, a.k.a. 'that Saint.'

The fact that she's a 【Saint】, and that she's the former Akiyama-san—nobody knows but Kasumi-san.

How far even the branch manager knows......

For the record, not only Soushi and Aikawa—even Umemoto-san claims not to know.

At the Chiba branch, the only ones who know are Kasumi-san, Dr. Amamiya, and Ishikawa-san, who's been secretly guarding her.

And the fact that I know—only Kasumi-san knows that too.

Hayashi-san says she "sweet-talked" them, but I don't think words were involved.

I'm pretty sure they marched off there on their own, lured by melons.

"Then why come here? Everyone's at that hospital, you know?"

"That's just it! Even Sou-chan is going to that hospital! Right now that homewrecking cat is surely making him a jumbo melon parfait! It's not faaair!"

He's technically going to help with treatment, you know.

Though he's probably drooling all over the place, that part's certain.

"First I thought I would win Kasumi-san to my side. And if I have her, persuading you is quickest, no? If Haruki-san calls it black, Kasumi-san calls even white black. For the sake of the Chiba branch—would you kindly lend us your strength?"

Your analogy is a bit off, no?

"If revenue is up, isn't there no problem? Adventurers come to this dungeon from others just for that woman these days—why not just leave it be? Besides, Shiraishi-san has turned over a new leaf, hasn't she? Please drop the scary talk about war."

What is she planning, I wonder?

Even if she drove that woman out, I'd think she'd just pack up her customers and move to headquarters.

"Nooo. I want to stay everyone's idol—! That's it, I've decided! I'll become a 【Wicked Woman】! A wicked woman, and win back my grandpas and my parfaits—!"

Make up your mind whether you want to be an 【Idol】 or a 【Wicked Woman】.

Well, if that's what she wants to be, I'll help.