ch141-ch160 · 152-ch152

Chapter 152: The Surprise Ban

"Alright, now try enhancing it."

"【Cooking】! Hmm... did it work? Kinda? Sorta?"

"Let me see that for a second."

I take the oddly long-handled knife from Soushi—or rather, the weapon that is quite literally a household santoku knife stuck on the end of a stick.

The shape is probably deliberate—so that Soushi keeps recognizing the thing as a kitchen knife.

I flick a fingernail against the blade. Kiiing, kiiing.

Same with the handle.

Knock-knock. Wood, apparently.

(【Charge・Spear】. 【Charge・Spear・Weapon Enhancement・Spear】.)

When I flick the blade again, the ring comes out deeper. Kiiiing.

The handle makes the same sound.

Success.

...There is no doubt about it. This is a spear.

"See? The sound changed. Your turn."

"Gotcha."

Soushi takes the spear... the kitchen knife... and flicks it the same way, checking the sound.

Kiiing, kiiing.

Knock-knock.

"【Cooking】!"

Kiiing!

Knock-knock.

Huh?

Only the knife part got enhanced.

Well, it is his first try. Things like this happen until it settles in, I suppose.

"Ah-hah-hah! That's just how it goes. Handle too long, maybe? Alternate with a regular kitchen knife now and then. Nothing for it but practice. You got the blade to take, though—that's fine work for a beginner."

Mia-san laughs.

"Yes, ma'am! I'll take good care of it!"

"I'll make you whatever weapon you actually want, apart from this one. Lemme know once you've decided."

Something's off...

Kasumi-san—the one who normally scrambles to be first to test any weapon enhancement—is just standing there, watching. Not moving...

"Please listen, Haruki-san!"

Whoa, there she moves.

And she's close.

But she looks angry.

No, wait—is she down?

Did something happen?

"Of course. What is it?"

We couldn't even have our phone call last night, after all.

I'll hear out anything, you know?

"Mia-san says surprises are banned! Do something!"

Hm? A surprise ban?

So that's why she's mopey?

"Haruki, this is serious. No matter what you say, surprises are banned from here on. Go suddenly dragging someone off to the deep floors again, and I'm handing the two of you over to Anego and her crowd."

The two of us? Me and Soushi?

I can sort of see the surprise ban, but what is this "Anego" person who keeps coming up?

A gorilla or lion kept by some 【Tamer】 at headquarters?

"Uu, how cruel. Yesterday I tried everything to get her to take it back, so I plied her with alcohol to sweeten her up—that was the mistake. She stopped listening to a word I said, took her clothes off, and went full tiny-Anego mode..."

"Heyyy! We agreed not to talk about that! And Anego is going too far!"

So Anego doesn't wear clothes...

Definitely a gorilla, then?

Wait, are gorillas even allowed in dungeons?

Apparently an animal at least bigger than Mia-san, at any rate.

"Now, now, both of you, calm down. Kasumi-san—for a while, please only surprise me. And I'll only surprise you. Mia-san, that way nobody gets bothered, so that's acceptable, right?"

"Hmmm? I suppose if nobody's getting bothered... Though the ruling was no surprises in the dungeon..."

"H-Haruki-san is going to surprise ME? But... being hugged out of nowhere like yesterday is, um, a problem..."

Yesterday?

Did I hug her?

"That's right! While I was getting flipped upside down, she went and latched onto you! That kind of thing is banned!"

Mia-san got flipped over when the burner exploded... and at that moment, I did shield Kasumi-san.

But I shielded her. I didn't hug her?

Kasumi-san is squirming.

So she wasn't angry about me failing to protect Mia-san—she got embarrassed about the clinging, and that's why she shoved me...

So the missed morning and night calls were just Mia-san running wild—Kasumi-san was never in a bad mood at all.

"Thank goodness..."

"What do you mean, 'thank goodness'!? It's banned, got it? Banned! Lovey-dovey in the dungeon is BANNED!"

"Surprising Haruki-san... Mmm-mmm-mmm. That is a difficult one."

"Are you two even listening?"

Kasumi-san has already started scheming...

No telling what she'll come up with. Time to steel myself.

As long as it makes Kasumi-san smile, that's what matters.

And on my end, hugging is out, huh...

I need to think of a surprise she'll actually love.

"Oh, speaking of surprises—Mia-san, there's something I want you to look at..."

"Already!? Didn't I just say it's banned!?"

"Which is why I'm saying it before we go into the warehouse, so nobody gets startled. I don't know what it is myself—please take a look."

It's the golem I brought back yesterday morning.

Probably an iron golem, I think. I'd like it appraised and taken off my hands.

"What is it? Scary... That is SO a surprise. Kasumi-san, you go in first."

"Heh. So even with a surprise ban, you can still manage this. As expected of you, Haruki-san."

We're in front of the warehouse right now, since there had been knife-swinging to do.

Kasumi-san beeps her license and goes inside.

"It's not a living thing, right? There aren't any weird monsters inside, are there?"

So close.

It's not alive anymore.

Are golems even alive to begin with?

Are monsters living things?

What's the definition of "human"?

Dungeon philosophy!

"Oh, it's a golem. Huh—first time I've seen a proper one. 【Analyze: Metal】.... Yep. That's iron."

"I'd like you to take it off my hands—is there anything you can make from it?"

Maybe she could make weapons or something?

"Nah, it's just plain iron—way too soft. Even if I used it for some part or other, it'd rust right away. I always figured 【Rustproofing】 was one of those don't-need-it skills... Turns out I might need it after all?"

Iron is SOFT!?