chapter04 · 107-ep107
Episode 104: The Dungeon Queen's Unique Skill
"Behold with awe, my unique skill—its name is <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom>!"
With those words, the Dungeon Queen pierced a Troll Grizzly's chest with magic and finished it off—and immediately afterward, something inexplicable occurred.
Monsters, once defeated, are absorbed into the dungeon relatively quickly.
But the Troll Grizzly Sharie had slain showed no sign of being absorbed; instead, only the parts that would ordinarily remain as drop items—its claws, fangs, and the like—vanished, leaving the entire body behind.
【Eh!?】
【Huh?】
【Wh-wait, why isn't it disappearing, desu no!?】
【I mean, with a body that huge it'd take a while to absorb... wait, there's not even a hint of absorption!?】
【Only the drop-item-looking parts vanished...!?】
【What does this mean!?】
【H-hey, given the name Munch-Munch Nom-Nom, don't tell me...!?】
"Fufufu, it seems many of you have more or less guessed it."
Watching the viewers' reactions on her phone, Sharie smiled like a mischievous child.
And then, as if revealing the secret behind a magic trick, she disclosed the outline of her unique skill.
"Indeed, as you suspect, this unique skill keeps the flesh and blood of monsters slain by me or those near me anchored in this world, and makes it edible by anyone!"
"R-really, desu no!?"
At Sharie's proud declaration, Karin's eyes flew wide as her stomach growled away.
【Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!?】
【No way!】
【For real!?】
【Eh, eh, seriously!?】
【Wait, isn't that the monster-meat-edibility thing they researched a bit in the old days and concluded was impossible!?】
【Everything except the dropped parts vanishing right away is an iron rule of dungeons, I say!】
【Does this mean... real dungeon cuisine is possible!?】
【How is that a thing!?】
【Unique skills may be a bizarre-power expo, but even so, that's...】
【If something like that exists, it's a unique skill in the truest sense of 'unique,' isn't it!?】
An absurd skill that keeps in this world the meat of monsters that should, without exception, turn to ash and return to the dungeon—and what's more, makes it edible by anyone. The comment section erupted.
"Well, I can hardly blame you for not believing it off the bat. So let us actually do it."
With that, the Dungeon Queen began to 'cook' with practiced hands.
She roughly dismantled the Troll Grizzly, over ten meters tall, with blades of wind.
She crudely skinned it, and what she crudely carved out next was the thigh meat.
Its size was extraordinary: at the end of a bone whittled thin for easy gripping was a mass of meat easily exceeding one meter.
Holding the bone portion, Sharie activated a magic skill with her other hand.
Just as one might skewer a fish over a campfire, she began searing the entire slab of meat with a special flame imbued with mana.
Instantly—JYUUUUUUU.
The sound of meat sizzling, the kind that stirs a human's basest instincts, was broadcast to the entire world through the floating camera.
【WOOAAAAAAAH!?】
【Drool's coming out of my EARS, desu waaaaaah!?】
【A sudden food-terrorism broadcast】
【Yeah, no good, that (sizzling meat sound) is way too lewd】
【Is she seriously cooking a monster!?】
【Hunt it, field-dress it, roast it on the spot—she's treating it completely like game meat, desu wa!】
【No freaking way...!?】
【And the cooking method is way too bold lolololol】
【That meat is WAY too big, desu wa!】
【Will the heat even get through that!?】
Perhaps because the flame the Dungeon Queen produced was special, charged with mana—
amid the explosion of comments, the bone-in thigh meat cooked through relatively quickly.
And then—
"All right, all right. This should do for now. Then—am!"
CHOMP!
The moment the Dungeon Queen bit into the freshly roasted meat, golden juices overflowed. Careful not to spill any of that flavor-packed essence, Sharie chewed the springy meat with a beaming smile and swallowed.
"Kuhaa! As expected of a deep-layer monster! Simply roasting it with nothing else and it's properly delicious!"
【She actually ate iiiiiiiit!?】
【Whoa... it really does look delicious...】
【It's a monster, but the fat is marbled all over—this is genuinely the tasty kind...】
【I can smell it through the screen, desu wa!?】
【Whoa whoa whoa whoa, is this for real!?】
【This is shocking footage in too many ways...】
【Monster meat can look THIS delicious, desu no!?】
【Springing mukbang-tier food terrorism on us out of nowhere is a capital offense, I say!】
【Tonight's dinner is yakiniku (confirmed)】
【This footage is shocking on a whole different vector from Karin ojou-sama's 'Elegant' stuff, desu wa!】
【Hm? Come to think of it, the ojou-sama has been awfully quiet, desu wa ne?】
The utterly unreasonable sight of Sharie actually eating a monster.
And the sight of it being far more delicious-looking than anyone could have imagined drew every manner of reaction from the viewers.
And amid all that, Sharie too noticed that Karin had gone silent.
(Oh dear, could it be she's the type who can handle combat but not meat dressing? Though over a screen is one thing, monster eating is a first for her—people do tend to get put off... I just assumed she'd be totally fine with that sort of thing, but did I get a little too carried away...?)
Fearfully, she turned toward the uncharacteristically quiet Karin.
Whereupon—
"...........................................(droooool)"
Karin was staring hard at the roasted meat, drool hanging from her mouth.
Her pupils were fully dilated.
"Wha!? You there! Drool! Drool! What happened to your 'Elegant'!?"
【lol】
【lol】
【lol】
【LMAO】
【Karin ojou-sama has the complete face of a starving stray dog, lmao】
【A starving stray dog that's slightly smarter because it can wait】
【That is NOT a face an 'ojou-sama' should be making, desu waaah!?】
【That meat was too much stimulation for an ojou-sama on an empty stomach...】
【Her brain-generator probably has nothing but 'meat' in it】
【LMAO at Sharie-chan panicking】
【Karin ojou-sama! Your face! Your face!】
"—Ha!? N-no, this isn't! This is not what it looks like, desu wa!"
Jolted back to her senses by the avalanche of tsukkomi from Sharie and the viewers, Karin hastily wiped away her drool.
"You see, I... I often watch meat-eating scenes in Dungeon Alive and other anime while eating bean sprouts with diluted yakiniku sauce, imagining they're meat...! So it was just a conditioned reflex!"
【This excuses nothing at a level never seen before, lmao】
【Ojou-sama, that's bad table manners, desu wa!】
【I mean, I get that meals go down easier while watching gourmet manga, but still】
【Could you NOT raise the resolution on the ojou-sama's tragic dietary life!?】
【(´;ω;`)bawww】
【Tip money! Hurry up and come (to the ojou-sama's bank account)!】
【No wonder Best friend-chan stuffs hot pot into the ojou-sama at every opportunity, desu wa】
【LMAO】
"Kukuh, hahaha! I see, I see. Well, that does sound like you. Right then, don't hold back—eat up!"
"! May I, desu no!?"
"No need to ask—I told you earlier, did I not? The very reason I went out of my way to reveal my unique skill was to settle that growling stomach of yours. The ingredients cost nothing, so eat without reservation."
"...! Th-then, if you insist...!"
At the Queen's words, Karin gulped audibly, relief in her smile.
Mustering the last of her Elegant willpower, judging it indecorous to bite into it directly, Karin cut the meat with a hand-blade so sharp no fat clung to it. She caught a piece with disposable chopsticks (stockpiled from supermarket handouts) drawn from her item box, and, lured by the juicy aroma, popped it into her mouth.
JUWAH!
"!"
In that instant, a bomb of umami spread through her mouth.
It was the kind of thing where her mouth moved on its own and swallowed it before she knew it.
"~~~! S-SO FREAKIN' GOOOOD, DESU WAAAAAAAAH!?"
The moment she swallowed, zabababababa!
Karin went to work with her hand-blades, cutting piece after piece of meat and ferrying them into her mouth in rapid succession.
"Monster meat can be... it's this delicious even without yakiniku sauce or salt, desu no!? I don't have enough cheeks for this, desu wa! This is just, just... it's delicious, desu wa!"
【The incredible pace at which she's attacking that meat, LMAO】
【A duck eating feed at Gatling-gun speed!】
【She's gone past starving stray dog into starving cerberus lolol】
【She really is eating with the momentum of someone with three mouths lol】
【Zero-vocabulary food report, lmao】
【I mean, the ojou-sama looks SO happy and like it tastes amazing though!?】
【Somehow I genuinely want to eat meat now, desu wa...】
【That's the face of someone who'll get a food-report segment despite zero vocabulary】
【A food-report pantomime artist, lolololol】
【Um, excuse me, is the ojou-sama just casually cutting the meat with her hand?????】
"Wahaha! What an appetite! Seeing you enjoy it that much makes revealing my unique skill worth it! Still..."
Sharie laughed cheerfully at Karin's blissful eating.
But then, a faintly worried look crossed her face.
"It's a bit late to say this after feeding you... but are you sure you should be devouring suspicious dishes served by someone you've only just met? It IS monster meat, after all. Practically everyone I know, even when starving, put up quite the resistance at first."
"Whether it's safe to eat, I can tell just by looking! And besides, this is very, VERY delicious, desu no!"
At Sharie's concern, Karin kept her blissful smile.
"The time I got hungry inside a dungeon before and tried eating the meat of a monster-sama I'd burned to death, it turned all gritty and ashy in my mouth and was the absolute worst—but this meat is nothing like that!"
"What in the world are you doing!?"
【Karin ojou-sama!?】
【What are you DOING, desu no!? Seriously, what are you DOING, desu no!?】
【What are you doing, Yamadaa!?】
【No way...!?】
【Surely that's an exaggerated anecdote, right, ojou-sama!?】
【A feral child beyond feral children】
【I thought the thug and genocide elements had gone quiet lately, and then THIS!】
【The woman who digs up more absurd combat power and Elegant scandals the deeper you go】
【A treasure box of material, perhaps?】
【A treasure chest of material, perhaps?】
【At this point she's just a mimic full of material】
【Why is there STILL more buried material!?】
"E-ah, n-no, no, you're wrong, desu wa!"
At the dumbfounded Sharie and viewers, Karin stopped eating and hurriedly tried to explain.
"I-I just thought it might save a little money, or rather it was curiosity—a, a momentary lapse! Yes! It was nothing more than a momentary lapse—it's not like I did it repeatedly or anything, desu no!"
【Normal people don't bite into monsters over a mere momentary lapse...】
【W-well, apparently people lost in the mountains sometimes swallow tadpoles as a desperate measure...】
【And what about this ojou-sama who was never even lost in the mountains...?】
【Still excusing absolutely nothing, LMAO】
【Th-this one's on poverty, not the ojou-sama...】
【I too live a fairly poor life, but please don't group me in with her!?】
【The stream where you understand Best friend-chan's feelings as she tirelessly stuffs the ojou-sama with hot pot】
【The woman who drives the person who just demonstrated an ultra-absurd monster-eating skill into playing the straight man】
【What even IS this ojou-sama, matching absurd skills with nothing but absurd behavior????】
And so Karin's accidental leaking of dark history drew a torrent of tsukkomi.
So thoroughly, in fact, that the topic of Sharie's unique skill was completely hijacked by it.
But immediately afterward,
the center of attention swung right back to Sharie.
Because the absurdity of the African Unification Dungeon Queen's unique skill did not stop at merely making monsters edible.
"...Hm? Huh?"
Karin, who had been desperately making excuses to the viewers, tilted her head.
Somehow, power was welling up from the core of her body.
"Somehow I feel strength surging... no wait, this is definitely recovering my mana and stamina, desu wa ne? Eh, could this possibly be—"
"Oh, you noticed."
Sharie, who had been utterly dumbfounded by Karin's dark-history leak moments before, smirked smugly, "nfufu."
And then she revealed the further effect possessed by her unique skill <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom>.
"Meat that has become edible through my skill produces various effects depending on the monster's species—buffs, stamina recovery, and so on. It's especially pronounced with monsters from the lower layers onward, whose bodies house dense mana. This bear's meat, it seems, had the effect of restoring mana and stamina."
"! Such an effect exists as well, desu no!? And on meat that was delicious to begin with!"
"Fufufu, impressive, is it not! Though I'll add—thanks to my skill, if the meat strays too far from me or is eaten outside the dungeon, it becomes merely delicious meat. In any case, it's useful for all sorts of things in dungeon conquest."
【Eh】
【!?】
【Hah!? Is she serious!?】
【There are effects like THAT too!?】
【I mean, monster meat is hardly normal to begin with, but even so, come ON!?】
【There are recovery potions and stamina boosters made from monster materials, so it's not unthinkable...】
【Wait, so in other words, this means she can resupply indefinitely inside the dungeon without hauling bulky items or food!?】
【Dunno the degree of the effects, but infinite in-dungeon resupply is lawless enough as is, isn't it!?】
【She's not just resupplying, she said it applies BUFFS!?】
【If it were only 'you can eat monster meat,' it'd just be absurd—but with special effects attached, this is...】
【Eh, isn't this broken...?】
"I-it's so nice, desu waa!"
Karin, actually experiencing that outrageous effect, cried out together with the viewers.
"Inside a dungeon, I can eat food this delicious AND recover stamina and mana! I could go on forever without ever getting hungry in the depths and practice to my heart's content, desu no!"
"Fufufu, exactly, exactly. ...Hm? But don't you yourself have that large-capacity item box? If you stocked it with food, you too could resupply without being burdened by luggage—not as much as I do, of course."
"...However large my item box may be, I cannot put in things I never had to begin with, desu wa..."
"Ah... r-right, that's true..."
【lol】
【LMAO at the little girl getting dumbfounded again】
【I can see the sorrow of the ojou-sama who charged into the abyss with a single yōkan and some tea...】
【The ojou-sama can only carry portable rations, as if she never needed an item box at all...】
【I mean, this IS a broken-enough skill that I get why Karin ojou-sama envies it, though...?】
【Buff plus mana and stamina recovery as long as you can eat inside the dungeon—I'm SO jealous!?】
【And if she can really carry the meat outside the dungeon, that's insane even without the special effects, desu wa!】
【H-hey, this unique... even if it's mostly meat, couldn't securing even one dungeon give you a massive logistical advantage...?】
【An ability military commanders would give their right arm for...】
【...It really does sound like a skill that would've been pretty useful in that big war to unify the continent, desu wa ne】
【↑ I hate smart kids like you】
【Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa】
【Um, everyone's theorizing about it all over, but is this girl seriously the Dungeon Queen herself...】
【It's popped up in comments here and there, but is that theory actually real!?】
【S-surely not the Queen in person...】
【Munch-Munch Nom-Nom-san, the legend of the Queen hiding in a dungeon for three months does line up with it...】
【Some dungeons naturally produce drinking water, and with this skill she might even manage to use monster blood as drinking water...】
【(I mean, the moment she talked about carrying meat outside the dungeon, this girl stopped being Japan's fourteen-year-old, didn't she...???)】
【The absurd theories getting harder and harder to deny is genuinely terrifying, desu wa!?】
【In any case, it's certain this is an absurd skill if people are suspecting THAT much, desu wa!】
"But, well, this <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom> has its flaws too."
Sharie added, in response to Karin's genuine envy and the viewers' commotion.
"Meat from the lower layers onward can be divided down to a certain size, but it cannot be cooked any finer than that. Like this."
With that, the Queen finely sliced the still-uncooked bear meat with a blade of wind, and... zusaah.
The raw meat, which had until moments ago gleamed with freshness, abruptly turned to ash and was absorbed into the dungeon.
"Meat from the middle layers up can be processed finely into sausages and such. But as you can see, meat from the lower layers onward allows no proper processing. Roughly cutting and roughly roasting it, like that bear meat earlier, is about the limit. Nearly the exact opposite of <Divine Artisan>, which can only work materials from the lower layers onward."
Sharie continued, sounding troubled.
"That said, since <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom> can at least manage rough cutting and roasting of lower-layer meat and beyond, I do think some workaround must exist... but no matter how much I test, I simply cannot find any way to cook it finely. Well, meat from the deep layers onward is delicious enough just roasted, so it's fine—but only that gets monotonous no matter how you vary the flavor, and I'm sure it would be even, even more delicious if it could be properly cooked."
【Hooh】
【There it is, the classic mystery-spec quirk of unique skills, desu wa】
【Makes sense, given <Divine Artisan> works the way it does】
【Eh, wait, that's supposed to be a flaw...?】
【If it were 'you can't eat lower-layer ingredients,' fine—but you CAN eat them roasted, and they even have special effects...?】
【Lmao at her calling it a flaw while only talking about flavor】
【Isn't a flaw supposed to be like 'enormous mana consumption' or 'a limit on how much meat you can make'!?】
【W-well, meal flavor does directly affect morale...】
【Though even 'getting tired of it' is hard to imagine when it sounds delicious enough just cut and roasted...】
【I mean, there are so many monster varieties that even a single cooking method probably wouldn't get old】
【If you're eating inside the dungeon, you probably couldn't do much more than cut and roast anyway】
【So in other words, this is effectively a flawless broken unique??】
【I mean, I DO understand it's a shame that meat that delicious can only be cut and roasted!】
"Hooh, I see, desu wa ne. What a truly wasteful shame, when such delicious meat is all-you-can-eat."
While the viewers tilted their heads at the flaws Sharie described, Karin nodded deeply, as if in sympathy.
(Though when you think of this skill as making a material called 'meat' always drop, it may be a reasonable limitation. Still, it truly is a waste... this bear meat alone—just imagining all the different dishes makes a drool bib mandatory, desu wa...)
So Karin thought, gazing intently at the bear meat, unable to quite give up on it... when suddenly, "Hm? A material? ...Ah!" she raised her voice as if noticing something.
And then—
"Sharie-sama!"
"Eh? W-what is it, Karin?"
Sharie's shoulders jumped at Karin suddenly raising her voice and running over.
Karin's eyes sparkling, she said:
"That meat you can't process—I might be able to cook it, desu wa!"
"...Eh!? Wh-what do you mean!?"
As Sharie faltered, Karin spoke rapid-fire:
"Meat obtained from monsters is essentially a drop item. And processing specialists can work materials that normally cannot be processed, using magic tools made with their skills, desu no! In other words! If I use <Divine Artisan> to make not magic equipment but magic cooking implements, and use those to activate my ordinary processing skill, then I might be able to cook the meat into forms others can eat too, desu no! Actually, from what I've seen, I have a feeling it'll work, desu wa!"
"!"
Jyururira.
With that faint sound, eyes turned entirely to meat, Karin's words—at the possibility that <Divine Artisan> and <Munch-Munch Nom-Nom> might produce an unexpected synergy—made the Queen's eyes go round.
The activation of a processing skill in the deep layers.
Without her mind yet reaching what effects that would bring about.
――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――
To clear things up just in case: Karin ojou-sama was not driven to the brink of starvation or anything—she genuinely bit into a monster half on a whim. Which makes it even worse.
Also, the Queen has not revealed the full picture of her unique skill. Even the information she did reveal was of the 'I never technically lied' variety. Obvious when you think about it, of course—she, unlike a certain ojou-sama, is properly careful not to give out too much information, desu wa ne.
※Also, I forgot to mention this earlier, but the red superchat in Episode 102 from 'Inu to Wa Kaseyo' was none other than Yoko Inukai-sama, desu wa! (Whether she posted it directly or through a scapegoat is unknown.) Perhaps because the writing style was so polite, Mitsuki-sama kept getting suspected now and then—LMAO, desu wa! (In the sense that people thought she was capable of it.)