chapter03 · 072-ep72
Episode 69: A Tip from the Viewers
DOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ZGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
GOGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAN!
Terrible impacts shook the whole dungeon in rapid succession. Volcanic-looking cannonballs five meters across punched easily through the dungeon walls, fired at Karin again and again from afar. Even more frightening than their power was their rate of fire. Despite their outrageous force, they came every two or three seconds, riddling the walls with holes.
And with this barrage aimed unerringly at her—
"There we go, desu wa!"
Karin ran straight toward the gunner without flinching. Every time it fired, she ducked into a side passage as if she'd sensed the shot coming beforehand. In the brief interval before the next shot, she raced down the straight path left by the cannonball. There was a risk her floating camera wouldn't be able to dodge the shots alone, so she'd fastened it to her shoulder. Viewers screamed at the heart-stopping advance.
【Ojou-sama, what are you doiiiiing!?】
【Even with a little gap between shots, running straight TOWARD the barrel pointing at you is terrifying!?】
【That isn't a gun barrel. It's naval bombardment from a 500-centimeter cannon】
【Those shots are on another level from the bug's in both power AND frequency!?】
【She's attached the camera to her shoulder, so we're getting a first-person view of her dodging these blasts by inches. My heart can't take this!?】
【I'm sweating just WATCHING. My laughter's drying up】
【Don't face-tank attacks in real life like you're playing shogi!?】
【Even knowing she's good at dodging, I'm so scared I'm going to piss myself, desu waaaa!】
【And the noise is awful!】
【Those shots keep smashing through incredibly hard dungeon walls...】
【A normal person would take damage from the SOUND alone, never mind getting hit!?】
【Ojou-sama, one direct hit would kill you instantly!?】
【Why not return fire from long range with the Elegatling gun or something!?】
"No! Not yet, desu no!"
Karin was somehow still glancing at the comments on the phone strapped to her arm. "Surely you're all curious what sort of monster makes attacks like these. Defeating it without ever showing you what it looks like would hardly be Elegant... More to the point, it wouldn't make for very entertaining footage, would it?"
【What?】
【No no no no!】
【THAT'S why she hasn't used the Elegatling gun!?】
【I thought she was doing it to crash the value of Black Tiger's intelligence assets!?】
【This ojou-sama has been talking nonsense since the conquest began!?】
【She's STILL worrying about getting good footage in this situation!?】
【I understand every word she said, yet I cannot comprehend it lmao】
【Is this some kind of ojou-sama language?】
【I cannot speak Ojou-sama】
【Karin ojou-sama is a model streamer! (dead eyes)】
【Making good content isn't something you should worry about in the DEEP layers!?】
【W-well, she'll probably dodge everything and reach the source... (heart pounding)】
【She's way too relaxed for someone who could die with one mistake...】
【M-maybe she's trying to make the stream entertaining because if she doesn't gain enough subscribers today, it won't convincingly clear her name...?】
【She's getting MORE than enough attention without worrying about footage! She already has four million concurrents and climbing!】
"So I'll keep going until I find where this breath attack is coming from, desu wa!"
【WHAAAAA!? She's gotten used to it and she's going FASTER!?】
【Even if she CAN dodge, sprinting full speed into a cannon that would vaporize you in one hit takes insane guts!?】
【Mitsuki-sama, please snap out of it and stop her!?】
【Mitsuki-sama is still face-down on her desk, overwhelmed!】
【HER stream's a disaster of its own!】
With chat screaming, Karin raced faster than ever down the cannon's line of fire. The passage suddenly opened up. The deep-layer corridors were already immense, but the hall ahead was so broad that its ceiling was out of sight. In the center of this space, far larger than any boss room in the lower layers, was IT.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
【Whoa, what IS that!?】
【HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!?】
【A giant disembodied dragon head!?】
FSSSHH! The source of the cannonballs, still venting their remnants from its mouth, was a giant dragon head growing from the ground. It fixed Karin with a glare from eyes that could see far into the distance. Black Tiger called this artillery-specialist monster the Dragon Cannon. Enormous mana gathered in its mouth once more.
"I see. You draw mana directly from the dungeon and convert it into attack power. In exchange for long-range cannon fire that can penetrate walls, you can't move from the place you've grown out of."
DOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
The monster fired at Karin as she read its mana and analyzed its traits. She dodged, of course. Now that she'd gotten this close, she only had to destroy an immobile Dragon Cannon. But it wasn't alone in the hall.
""""GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!""""
Wings beat overhead, accompanied by earsplitting cries. Karin looked up to see dozens of huge winged dragons flying freely about the ceilingless expanse. The wyverns spotted her and unleashed their breath attacks together as though guarding the Dragon Cannon.
DOGOGOGOGOOOOOOON!
Their breath attacks were the opposite of its penetrating shots. Each exploded over a wide area upon striking the ground. A sea of flame filled the hall, preventing Karin from getting near the Dragon Cannon. Meanwhile—KIIIIIN! DOGOOOOON!—protected by the explosions, it charged mana and fired again.
"Oops."
Karin easily avoided the explosions and cannon shot and retreated from the hall for the moment. Chat was aghast.
【She finally got to it, and it's got GUARDS too!?】
【A giant cannon emplacement with air support. That's an actual FLEET!?】
【And those imitation dragons just FLY!? What can a melee fighter do against that!?】
【There are so MANY of them!】
【Unbeatable!】
【Maybe the proper strategy WAS to shoot the disembodied head from afar with homing magic, not close in!?】
【We know the ojou-sama's dodging is inhuman, but can she really avoid ALL those explosions!?】
【Now that we know what it is, use the Elegatling gun!】
"Yes, now would be the time for a ranged weapon!"
She could easily dodge the explosions and kill the dragon head up close, but the flames would make it hard for viewers to see what happened. Still concerned about the footage, Karin reached for the Elegatling gun in her item box—and paused.
(Wait. If I'm using a weapon anyway, why insist on the Gatling gun? Wouldn't this situation be perfect for testing THAT...?)
Indeed. Showing off different weapons would be more fun for viewers, and an enemy that could pierce dungeon walls was the perfect test for her new creation. She changed her mind about which weapon to draw. What emerged from the item box was no ranged weapon at all. It was a thoroughly close-combat weapon.
THUD!
One of the three new pieces of magical equipment she'd made for today: an enormous mass several times Karin's height. 'Ungainly' was the perfect word for this colossal hammer.
【What?】
【Eh?】
【What is that gigantic hammer!?】
【Not the Elegatling gun!?】
【A new weapon!?】
【Why pull out a heavy melee weapon when everyone was talking about attacking from a distance!?】
【She looks exactly like Tinkaton from Po○émon!?】
【What is the ojou-sama going to do now!?】
"Let's see, where should I stand...? Over there looks about right."
Hammer on her shoulder, Karin charged into the hall again. She ran along the outer edge and stopped at a particular spot. The Dragon Cannon trained its aim on her; the wyverns simultaneously gathered explosive breath in their mouths.
"""GYAAAAAAAAH!"""
"GROOOOOOOOO!"
"Right! Time for a test swing, desu wa!"
She held the hammer like a baseball bat and stood perfectly still.
【Ojou-sama, wait!?】
【What are you doing!? Seriously!?】
【Hey, don't tell me she's—】
DOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!
The Dragon Cannon's shot flew toward Karin at tremendous speed. In that instant—SHH!
She sprang to the side as if she'd read the exact moment it would fire, evading the shot completely. She tightened her grip on the hammer.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
DOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!
She swung with all her strength. Fueled by vast quantities of mana, the huge hammer met the cannonball perfectly despite its speed. The hammer did not shatter, even against a shot capable of punching through dungeon walls. The two immense masses pressed against each other for an instant—until Karin poured out still more mana.
"ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
BAKAAAAAAN!
Her slender frame sent the giant volcanic cannonball flying straight back.
"————————————!?"
ZGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
DOGOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOOOOON!
The Dragon Cannon had no time to scream. Its own shot blew its head off and killed it. The returning cannonball also blew away the wyverns' explosive breath attacks, fired a beat later, as if they were incidental. It smashed through the hall's wall and then wall after wall beyond, hurtling into the distant dungeon.
DOGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAAN—...
【...........】
【...............】
【W-wait】
【What just happened?】
【This is a dream】
【Sky so pretty】
【Eraser tastes good】
"Phew!"
Chat looked as though everyone had smoked a particularly potent herb, but Karin merely breathed out like someone who'd finished a job.
"I'm glad it worked better than I expected! If the hammer can return THAT shot, it's plenty sturdy!"
【U-um, Karin ojou-sama...?】
【What exactly is that weapon...?】
"Oh, I haven't explained it yet! I thought of this weapon thanks to you, my viewers!" Karin answered the timid questions happily. "A few people commented on an earlier video that perhaps I could process dungeon walls using <Divine Artisan>. It had never occurred to me! So I cut out plenty of lower-layer dungeon wall with Mongolian Desu-Worm-chan and tried giving it a big 'squeeze.'"
She beamed as she spoke.
"And the result was this ultra-ultra-heavy weapon, which grows tougher the more mana I pour into it! It came out even sturdier than I expected, and it's such an Elegant hammer to swing with all my might. I'm delighted with it! I must thank everyone who shared their wisdom!"
【WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?】
【Who encouraged the ojou-sama to make ANOTHER outrageous discovery!?】
【No... I didn't mean for... It was just a joke...】
【↑ There they are! Don't let them escape!】
【Wait, so the hammer's magical effect just makes it harder...?】
【She returned that shot with her own raw arm strength...?】
【Scary...】
【And why did she try to return it without EVER TESTING that first!?】
【Seriously, nothing about this ojou-sama makes sense lmao】
【Dungeon walls aren't normally used as materials because they're heavy, hard to cut out, and need a huge flow of mana to hold their strength!?】
【The ojou-sama isn't normal, so it's fine! We're good!】
【Um... by the way, does the hammer have a name...? (nervously)】
【Don't ask!】
【Some things are better left unknown】
【Until Karin ojou-sama says its name aloud, the possibility remains that she gave it a super-cool one... (shaking)】
@Mitsuki: What are you all talking about!? Chupacabra and Mongolian Desu-Worm are both adorable!!!
【Easy there, Mitsuki-sama】
【That's the first thing she says after reviving? lmao】
"Well then, time to finish things up!"
Karin put away her hammer and looked up.
""""Grrah...!?""""
The wyverns were at least as stunned as the viewers that she'd returned the Dragon Cannon's shot. She leaped toward them while they were defenseless.
"HYAAAAAAAAH! DESU WAAAAAAA!"
Kicking off the wall a few times, Karin reached their altitude in an instant. She landed on a wyvern hovering near it—BOH!—and jumped again, using the wyvern as a springboard. The recoil flung it into the wall and killed it. Karin raced across the air to another and did the same thing.
BOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOH!!
""""GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?""""
The wyverns were apparently specialized in flight and breath attacks, with only moderate durability. One by one they slammed into the walls and died. Karin traced countless paths through the air before landing lightly from a great height, unhurt as ever.
"The shot from the disembodied dragon cleared a straight path toward where I sense the floor 1 boss room! Let's be on our way, desu no!"
【Eh】
【Eh】
【What?】
"I had been thinking that constantly cutting through walls with Mongolian Desu-Worm-chan wouldn't look very good on video... But hitting that shot back cleared a path in one big, spectacular go! What a useful monster I found! If any of you challenge this dungeon, I recommend using it as a shortcut too!"
【Um】
【Don't ask the impossible...】
【Wait, is THAT why she worried about where to stand before hitting it back!?】
【She wasn't just returning the shot—she was making a shortcut!? What IS this ojou-sama!?】
【While I was frozen in shock over the cannonball, she'd already wiped out the wyverns by turning herself into a flesh-and-blood guided missile!?】
【Please stop doing things faster than I can react to them... (shaking)】
【She didn't even need the Elegatling gun in the end...】
【Um, is there a chance the returned shot already killed the boss?】
【Watching her run wild is... making me want her to do the same to me as she does to the monsters...】
【Karin ojou-sama isn't only destroying dungeon walls. She's breaking her viewers' sexual preferences too!?】
【Could she limit the destruction to our preferences...?】
"Now then, I wonder what sort of monster the boss here will be. I'm looking forward to it~"
Leaving her viewers stunned all over again, Karin strolled through the direct route to the boss room that the cannonball had blasted through the dungeon walls.
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As some of you might have guessed, the idea of using dungeon walls as materials came from the actual comments on this story. The line between the fictional chat and the real comments is getting blurry...!
Also, the book comes out next week on the 18th! I'll be posting for five days in a row from the next update on the 15th through the 19th. I hope you'll keep reading and supporting the story!