chapter02 · 051-ep51
Episode 51: Karin Ojou-sama's First Collab
【With Ojou-sama's Power】The Thread for Folding Paper Cranes and Praying for Japan's Peace, Part 30【The World's in Danger】
567 Passing-by Anon
'An announcemen' for all my viewers. Tomorrow's stream will be the first collab (?) on my channelll! My partner is... the Metropolitan Police Department-sama, desu waaan!'
W h a t i n t h e w o r l d i s t h i s, d e s u n o
568 Passing-by Anon
A police HQ collab!?
569 Passing-by Anon
What the hell IS a police HQ collab!?
570 Passing-by Anon
What do you mean...? A police HQ collab is a collab with police HQ, desu wa?
571 Passing-by Anon
Quit talking like Koizumi ojou-sama, desu wa
572 Passing-by Anon
Karin ojou-sama collabing with police HQ? ...Aha, they're finally arresting our loophole-law ojou-sama...
573 Passing-by Anon
Police HQ collab (arrest) lmao
574 Passing-by Anon
Does the police even have the firepower to arrest a monster like her...?
575 Passing-by Anon
Call in the Self-Defense Forces, desu wa
576 Passing-by Anon
This one's a job for the US military
577 Passing-by Anon
Treating her like Shin Go●zilla lmao
578 Passing-by Anon
Jokes aside, what does a police HQ collab ACTUALLY mean!?
What ended up happening with Honoka-sama!?
579 Passing-by Anon
Well, even if they've agreed to hire her, that's not the sort of thing they can announce immediately...
580 Passing-by Anon
If they're going so far as to collab, things must have worked out somehow...
581 Passing-by Anon
W-we'll just have to wait for tomorrow's stream, desu wa...
582 Passing-by Anon
Just how far beyond our imagination must Karin ojou-sama go before she's satisfied, desu no?
●
The day after Karin announced her collab with police HQ—
"G-good evening, everyone, desu wa~. As I announced yesterday, today marks the first collab on my Elegant channel. And it's a collab with the Metropolitan Police Department-sama, desu wa~."
It was evening, the time when viewership climbed highest. Karin faced her first collab stream with cold sweat pouring off her.
【We've been waiting for thisssssssss!】
【I was so curious about this stream I ditched my overtime, desu noooo!】
【Karin ojou-sama!? What does 'police HQ collab' mean!?】
【Is this really and truly a police HQ collab!?】
【Wait, doesn't the background look different? A conference room?】
【Peepo-kun sitting there in state lmao】
【Ojou-sama looks stiff as a board lol】
【Are you seriously collabing with police HQ...?】
Comments from viewers—already over two hundred thousand in an instant—showed they still half doubted it. But then—
"Hello, everyone. I'm Yoichi Fukusa, the Anti-Dungeon Division's young ace, and I'll be hosting today's collab between Karin ojou-sama and the Metropolitan Police Department. Karin ojou-sama, thank you so much for accepting this outrageous request."
【WHAAAA!? That's the Anti-Dungeon Division guy who hosted the <Divine Artisan> recruitment press conference the other day!】
【It really IS a police HQ collab!?】
【I just checked, and police HQ's PR account is promoting this stream toooooo!】
【Does that mean they're in a conference room at police headquarters!?】
【A real, actual collab with police HQ, I'm cultivating a whole field of lmaos】
Detective Fukusa's appearance in a neatly pressed suit transformed the atmosphere in chat.
【First the instant hiring of <Divine Artisan> users and now a collab stream. The police have decided to team up with ojou-sama for real lmao】
【Competent, desu wa!】
【A wise decision, desu wa!】
【They screw up plenty, but Japan's police are pretty capable when it counts, aren't they!?】
【Hold on, why is her first collab with police HQ and not another streamer!?】
【Well, her channel grew so fast, it'd be hard for any old streamer to collab with her...】
【Still, going straight for the power of the state lmao】
【Bet there isn't another streamer like her in the world lol】
【Noob! Black Shell's also seconds away from a police HQ collab!】
【Police HQ collab (arrest) lol】
【Especially now ojou-sama and the Anti-Dungeon Division have joined forces...】
【No joke, the Black Shell guys must be trembling right now】
【Yoo-hoo! Black Shell, are you watching~~!? You can't run anymore!】
【↑ That sudden change of tone lmao】
"Now, let's begin. Today's broadcast isn't so much a straightforward collab as a 'sponsored stream,' you might say: the police have asked ojou-sama to help publicize something."
"Y-y-yes, that's right, desu no!"
"And what that something is, as many of you may have guessed, is the <Divine Artisan> recruitment we announced at yesterday's press conference. Today, with Karin ojou-sama asking the questions, we'd like to explain it in more detail and bring accurate information about recruitment to as many people as possible."
"Y-y-yes, that's right, desu no!"
【Ohhh, I see】
【The press conference wasn't enough. To be honest, even I still have trouble believing it】
【Collabing with ojou-sama to spread the news properly is genius】
【But ojou-sama's turned into a broken radio since the stream started lol】
【I know a first collab with the police is a huge deal, but you're way too nervous lol】
【She's more nervous than on her first stream after going viral lmao】
【What's up with her lol】
【Why does she need to check cue cards for canned responses like THAT lmao】
【Is her inner thug afraid of the police...?】
Chat piled on Karin for acting strange since the stream began—even stranger than usual. The mystery, though, was soon solved.
"A-a-and so, I'd like to ask about <Divine Artisan> recruitment right away... But since this announcement is important to the police too, we have a spe-spe... special guest joining us besides our host, Detective Fukusa...! P-please welcome today's guest, Metropolitan Police Commissioner-General Kenji Satsuma-sama!"
【Huh?】
【Huh?】
【What'd this fake ojou-sama just say】
【She's so nervous she's saying weird stuff again!】
【As if the police commissioner-general would ever come on some streamer's live broadca—】
"Hello. As introduced, I'm Kenji Satsuma, the Metropolitan Police commissioner-general."
Chat froze as a bespectacled middle-aged man casually popped into view. And then—
【WHAAAAAAAA!? IT'S REALLY HIMMMMM!?】
【I've seen him at the year-end press conferenceeee!?】
【THAT'S ACTUALLY THE POLICE COMMISSIONER-GENERAL!!!!?????】
【No, wait, for real for real!?】
【No wonder Karin ojou-sama's stiff as a board!?】
Yes. The cause of Karin's crippling nerves since the start was the sharp-eyed police chief who'd been waiting just offscreen the whole time.
For this collab, the chronically understaffed police had pulled out all the stops. They had no intention of simply riding Karin's popularity for free. To make the announcement reach as many people as possible, they'd played their biggest card for maximum publicity.
(I-I agreed to the collab gladly because if my exploits (?) have caused anyone else to be treated like Honoka-sama, I need to help them... But streaming with the top boss of the police!? I'm so nervous I could throw up everywhere, desu wa!?)
Even Karin, for all her lack of common sense, knew that the commissioner-general was a very important person. Add the fact that this was her first collab, and she was in complete disarray. Frankly, she hadn't been this scared even when first venturing onto a new floor of the dungeon.
"A-ababa... F-for now, please have some of my favorite tea, Commissioner-General Satsuma-sama..."
"How very kind of you. I'm honored to be served by the hero of Shibuya. I'll gladly accept."
【Her whole body's shaking lmao】
【Anyone would turn into a full-body vibrating massager if their first collab put them beside the commissioner-general!?】
【Even the host, Detective Fukusa, is drenched in sweat lol】
【Ojou-sama's shaking head to toe, but the surface of her tea isn't moving at all lmao】
【<Recoil-Free Cannon> (?) is way too useful lmao】
【Yeah Karin ojou-sama's no help explaining <Divine Artisan> recruitment today lol】
【So THAT'S why Detective Fukusa's here lmao】
【The commissioner-general's impressive... doubt he's ever streamed before, but he's more composed than ojou-sama】
【His tea-drinking manners are more refined than Karin ojou-sama's lol】
【Press conferences are part of the job at his rank, so he's probably used to cameras even if he's never streamed】
【Even so, the composure he has with an off-kilter Karin ojou-sama (biological weapon) beside him...】
【Guess you don't become head of law enforcement in a world with dungeons for nothing, desu wa...】
Between the unbelievable collab and Karin's malfunctioning, chat was having a field day. The stream apparently hit Twiitter's trending list immediately, and concurrents swelled toward a million. Once they'd attracted all that attention, just as the police had intended, the explanation of <Divine Artisan> recruitment began.
In essence, the commissioner-general restated what Detective Fukusa had explained to Karin and the others the other day. Meanwhile, Karin became an ornament that could only repeat "Ohh, so that's how it is~" with a look that said she hadn't understood a word. The audience loved that too. Clips and fan edits titled 'The Police Commissioner-General Tries His Best to Explain Things to an Ojou-sama Who Understands Nothing' sprang up, and word of the <Divine Artisan> recruitment spread like wildfire.
Toward the end of the stream, Commissioner-General Satsuma bowed to the camera to conclude his explanation.
"I'm terribly sorry that this has effectively meant taking the fruits of a private citizen's discovery—and a minor's at that. But the reality is that our current staffing cannot keep up with the investigation of and guidance for the delinquent clans now in the news. We needed every means available to secure personnel. Moreover, we cannot overlook the unreasonable exploitation of young people with a future ahead of them. Self-serving though it may be, we felt the police could protect and train them with relatively little friction, and that is why we took this course. ...Though I can't deny that even if we ease our staffing shortage, police work will remain grueling enough to put an exploitative employer to shame."
【Lmao】
【The commissioner-general actually said that!?】
【Well, points for honesty, desu wa!】
【Honestly, the police aren't entirely to blame for how overworked they are...】
"But despite that, someone has answered the Anti-Dungeon Division's call for applicants," Karin said, speaking for the first time in ages without saying, "Ohh, so that's how it is~."
"Isn't that right, Honoka-sama?"
"Yes...!"
At Karin's beckoning, Honoka Kamishiro stepped into frame: the girl who'd demonstrated such startling strength under Karin's instruction that she'd sparked this emergency recruitment plan to be put into action at breakneck speed.
"Thanks to all of you, everyone has been so, so good to me... I've now safely left Black Shell and will be working with the Metropolitan Police Department's Anti-Dungeon Division."
【WOOOOOOO! For real!? CONGRATULATIONS!】
【I figured as much since they went ahead with the police collab, but she really got hired!!!】
【Congratulations, desu waaaaa!】
【That's one HELL of a promotion lmao】
【'Moving on to a better job' doesn't even BEGIN to cover it!?】
【This is a modern Cinderella story!!】
【Honoka-sama looks so much healthier too lol】
【So much weight off her shoulders... I'm so glad, desu wa!!】
【The Anti-Dungeon Division'll be tough in a different way from Black Shell, but it's the perfect new job! No fear of revenge from Black Shell either!】
【I'm seriously so happy for you, desu noooo!】
Chat exploded at the good news, flooded with congratulations too fast to read. Honoka bowed. "Thank you...!"
"If anyone else with <Divine Artisan> is being treated badly like I was, please consider consulting the Anti-Dungeon Division. And even apart from <Divine Artisan> recruitment, please talk to them if you're having trouble with a clan. I'd be glad if you could help more people hear about today's stream, too."
【You got it! Leave spreading the word to us!】
【The more recruits to share the Anti-Dungeon Division's insane workload, the better!】
【CLACKCLACKCLACK—ENTER! (Retweet complete)】
【Hey, neglected <Divine Artisan> user 980! If you're watching, call the division right now!】
【Wow. Snag all that attention with the surprise commissioner-general, get laughs during the serious explanation thanks to Ornament Ojou-sama, then finish with news that the girl everyone's talking about got hired. Apart from Karin ojou-sama malfunctioning, that was the perfect publicity collab...】
【The channel owner turning into an ornament added character too!】
And so Karin ojou-sama's first collab ended with the employment announcement of its second surprise guest, Honoka Kamishiro. The stream peaked at 1.5 million concurrents, and its impact was enormous: despite the rarity of their unique skill, ten new <Divine Artisan> users, including Honoka, joined the Anti-Dungeon Division.
With training assisted by the police and the top clans cooperating with them, the members of the newly formed 'Anti-Dungeon Division Special Skills <Divine Artisan> Section' grew rapidly stronger. Eventually, they'd produce results beyond anything imagined—but that's another story.
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Bonus
【Who the hell you calling the division's ace, Fukusa!?】
【I'm watching the stream, Fukusa! Don't get cocky just 'cause you're in front of Karin ojou-sama!】
【If you act rude to our †savior† ojou-sama who punched a hole through our staffing shortage, you'll regret it...!】
【I'm so jealous you get an in-person collab with Karin ojou-sama I could go bald. Should've given your senior your seat】
【Try anything funny with Karin ojou-sama and I'll turn a thousand malicious yumejoshi friends loose in Tokyo to hunt you down, Fukusa!】
"Stop it, senpai! People are going to think the division's a workplace full of bullying! Go do your jobs! And mine too, while you're at it—being sandwiched between Karin ojou-sama and the commissioner-general has practically given me a stomach ulcer!"