Chapter

chapter02 · 063-interlude

Interlude: The Men Get Called First

The great hall of the castle, on the King's planet.

Before the gear-framed screen, a young man stood with both arms spread wide.

"—And so, the high five was performed!"

It was Vira.

Three hours had passed since his return. He had told the same story no fewer than seven times.

"Saku-sama's hand was warm. And the sound it made — pan! — was a splendid one. I wished for you all to hear it as well."

"......We heard it."

Flat on the floor, Tiamat groaned.

"On the screen, every word, we heard. Seven whole times."

"Shall I favor you with the eighth?"

"We do NOT need iiiit!"

Tiamat thrashed and rolled about on the floor.

Her black-and-white kimono was a rumpled mess. Her hair — braided that morning by the twins' hands — had long since come undone.

"Why? Why not I? I have seniority, you know! The first my Lord ever took in was I!"

"The first to be received into his service was I, in fact."

"We have heard THAT one already."

"Now, now, Tia-chan."

"There, there, Tia-chan."

The twins crouched down at either of Tiamat's sides.

Nox, pinching a baked sweet off Tiamat's plate. Lux, holding one of her own sweets up to Tiamat's mouth.

"The King said there'd be an order, you know."

"If it's an order, your turn will come."

"......Order."

Tiamat stopped rolling, dead still.

"Quite right. Order. First Seat, then Second Seat. Then Third Seat......"

She began counting on her fingers.

"......I am third!"

Her face lit up all at once.

In that very moment, a voice muttered from a corner of the hall.

"......He said 'men first,' though."

It was Azathoth.

Cat-ear hood still up, a single fry in her mouth.

The hall went utterly silent.

"......Huh?"

"......The King, at the end. 'In order. Men first.'"

Azathoth pointed at the screen.

The screen rewound.

In the stone chamber, Vira being wrapped in light, and the King standing before him.

『Yeah. In order. Men first.』

......He had, indeed, said it.

"......Men, first."

Tiamat repeated it, slowly.

"Men first, say you......?"

And then she collapsed onto the floor again.

"I'm a GIIIIRL!"

The hall erupted into an uproar.

"Wait, hold up, I'm a girl too!"

Kichinana hammered the table with her built nails.

"Men first means I'm WAY at the back?!"

"That would place me there as well, I believe."

Akasha pushed up her glasses. Her expression was calm. Only the hand holding her pen trembled faintly.

"Second Seat, Fourth Seat, Sixth Seat, Eighth Seat. The male Executives number four, the First Seat excluded. Only after them do the ladies arrive at long last."

"......Four whole people to wait behind."

Azathoth said it quietly, fry still in her mouth.

"......Forgive him."

"There's nothing to forgive — it was the King who decided."

"......I know."

Ignia kicked his chair back and stood.

"Like hell I can wait. I wanna fight — beside the King!"

"Ignia, compose yourself."

"Compose THIS! Four people! FOUR!"

Wilhelm set down the teapot.

That alone stopped Ignia dead.

"Ignia-sama."

"......Yeah."

"Have you considered why the King said 'men first'?"

"......Haven't."

"Foh-ho-ho."

Wilhelm laughed quietly.

"What the King wrote in the ladies' volumes, back in middle school — he remembers it quite well, you see."

Every lady in the hall froze at once.

"......Oh."

"......Ohhh."

"......So that's it."

Everyone was remembering what was written about themselves.

I love the King. I love King-sama. I pressed the King to make me his man. I will be the King's bride.

......'I love the King.' (at the very top, in careful handwriting).

"In other words, the King"

Akasha pushed up her glasses.

"finds meeting us ladies embarrassing."

"That would be my understanding, yes."

Wilhelm bowed his head deeply.

The hall fell dead quiet.

And then.

"......How adorable."

Tiamat, still flat on the floor, covered her face with both hands.

"Adorable."

"So adorable."

"King-sama is TOO adorable."

"......Adorable."

"......I will not deny it."

"......Mine is written too. At the very top."

Deus Ex Machina's chest gears gave a single click.

It almost seemed as if her mechanical wings had reddened, just a touch.

Meanwhile, on the men's side.

"You're next, old man?"

Leonhart opened one eye, still melted into his chair.

"By the order, the Fourth Seat follows the Second, I believe."

"Ehhh, what a pain."

"And yet, Leon — didn't you iron your shirt this morning?"

"He did."

The twins said, voices in unison.

"Didn't iron it, didn't iron it."

"He ironed it."

"He had Elda do it."

"......"

Leonhart kept grinning slackly and closed his eyes.

His ears, though, were just a little red.

Tvashtri, silent, was sharpening the presentation katana all over again. The twelfth time since that morning.

Adam sat quietly with his eyes closed.

From his mouth, a voice like thunder leaked out.

『—Me first! Surely the King shall call upon me — lord of the thunderbolt—』

Adam clamped his own mouth shut.

"......Forgive me. That was not me."

"We know."

"But everyone's about the same today, so don't worry about it."

"Now then, my lords and ladies."

Wilhelm clapped his hands once.

"The next summons — if we go by the order — should fall to myself, I believe."

The hall went still.

"......Wilhelm. Your preparations?"

"Complete, sir."

Wilhelm straightened the collar of his tailcoat.

The white gloves were fresh from their box this very morning. No — they had been fresh from their box yesterday as well. And the day before that.

"A report has come from my Shadow Servant: during Golden Week, at Toda, the King was frolicking most heartily with the twin light-blades."

"That's the one he got told NOT to report, right?"

"Indeed. Therefore, I intend to inform the King that 'no report ever arrived.'"

"......Wilhelm, that's a lie."

"A butler's lie is no lie at all. We call it consideration. Foh-ho-ho."

Vira laughed outright beside him.

"As expected of you, Wilhelm. I am certain Saku-sama will be delighted."

"You honor me."

Even as the night wore on, the uproar in the great hall showed no sign of settling.

Tiamat, her hair being re-braided by the twins, was still muttering to herself.

"......Four people. Once four have been called, 'tis my turn. Four......"

"Tia-chan, that's right."

"Huh?"

"After four men get called, the women — starting from the top."

"Third Seat's the top among the women."

"Fifth."

"......Fifth."

"Yeah."

"It's exactly right."

"............"

Tiamat stayed quiet for a while.

It was right. Exactly as she herself had counted.

And yet.

"......Four whole people, I must wait."

The instant she said it aloud again, something in her seemed to snap.

Tiamat slowly toppled onto the floor again. This time, hair still in the twins' half-finished braids.

"MY LOOOORD!!"

Outside the universe, the archaic-loli dragon's wail echoed on, long, long after.