chapter01 · 018-ep17

Episode 17: Nothing Says Chuunibyou Like Gear That Hides Your Face

The next day, I went to Sakae alone.

Purpose: shopping. Today I wasn't looking at weapons — I came to buy something that hides my face.

Yesterday's examination made one thing crystal clear. Someday, a day will come when I have to become the King in front of people.

After the entrance ceremony there's the five-man dive we promised, and there's no guarantee this Guild examination was the last. If all I had to do was announce the name, fine — the problem is the look. My bangs grow out, my right eye turns black, my left eye white. Let one person see that and it's game over on sight.

The day I first became the King in a dungeon, I decided "I'll buy a hood" — and then did absolutely nothing about it. Grinding Kanayama took everything I had, then I nearly went and died, and suddenly two weeks had passed.

Today I buy it. Absolutely buying it.

The Sakae dungeon is a large-scale one directly connected to the underground shopping street. The building with the door houses a Guild branch, and equipment shops line the streets around it. Crowded even on a weekday midday. Students, office-worker types, people who are unmistakably pro explorers — all mixed together, walking the same street.

I went into the biggest shop first: Floor 1 weapons, Floor 2 armor, Floor 3 consumables and accessories.

The moment I got up to Floor 2, I kind of froze. A whole wall of cloaks. Robes, mantles, hooded cloaks, long coats. Materials and colors all over the place — and every single one looks cool.

Honestly, I got hyped. If the me of those days could see this, he'd have wept with joy. ...No, the current me is also pretty joyful, for the record.

"Welcome. Looking for something?"

The one who spoke up was a clerk, a guy around thirty with an old scar on his arm. Probably a former explorer.

"Ah, yes. A hooded... jacket sort of thing."

"A cloak, then. And the use case?"

"Use case?"

"Defense-focused, lightness-focused, or—"

Or, what?

"—you want to hide your face, is it?"

My heart jumped. Wait, was it that obvious?

"Is there... demand for that?"

"Plenty."

He said it matter-of-factly.

"Streamers buy them to keep from being identified. Also people who aren't in a Clan, or salaried workers doing this on the side. Quite a few people don't want their company finding out they're an explorer."

I see. Apparently the world has plenty of people with perfectly legitimate reasons to hide their faces. My reason isn't legitimate at all, but the hiding part is the same.

What he led me to was a corner in the back of the shop.

"For face-hiding, this section is popular."

What's lined up is almost entirely black. Look closer and there's navy, deep green, gray too — but all that registers is black. And every one of them is long, with a deep hood.

...It's a dead ringer for the drawings I used to make back then.

"Um, excuse me."

"Yes?"

"Do you have anything more... plain?"

"Plain, as in..."

"Nothing eye-catching. Normal. Extremely normal."

The clerk thought for a moment, then pointed at the next rack over.

"Then these short types. Waist-length, with a shallower hood."

A short gray jacket; picking it up, it's light. It's basically work clothes. I thought this won't stand out at all, tried the hood on in front of the mirror — and my face came right out.

With a shallow hood, the bangs don't hide, and the eyes show. This defeats the whole purpose.

"Anything a little deeper?"

"Deeper ones inevitably run longer. It's a balance issue."

"Longer..."

"Yes. A bigger hood means more fabric overall."

"Then I don't need the below-the-neck part."

"That would be a cowl."

No cowls. That's just straight-up ninja at that point. Walk around the Sakae underground in a black cowl and you're getting reported to the police before anyone even gets around to suspecting chuunibyou.

The more I try to hide my face, the longer the hem gets and the closer I slide toward those drawings? Why does it work out like that?

In the end, I agonized for over thirty minutes.

The gray short type, I picked up twice and put back twice. If it won't hide my face, there's no point buying it. The third time I reached for it, I made eye contact with the clerk, so I gave that up for good. Tried the deep-green long one too — not bad, actually. But deep green is apparently a color for forest-type dungeons, and I was told it'd actually stand out in rock interiors like Sakae or Kanayama. Gave that up too.

So what was left at the end was black.

"This one's a new material — lighter than it looks. Below-knee length, deep hood. The upper half of the face is almost completely hidden."

The clerk held it open, and the hem swayed softly.

Whoa, cool. ...No, wrong, that's not the point here. This is about practicality.

Draping it on in front of the mirror and pulling up the hood, the upper half of my face sank into shadow. Eye color invisible, bangs unreadable. If I talk, my mouth moves — but I don't think that alone gives me away.

Practicality: perfect. It's just, the guy in the mirror was a dead ringer for the concept art that me-of-those-days spent hours drawing.

For good measure, I flipped the hem once too. ...Not like that. I was only checking that my face is hidden.

...Right. Let's agree I didn't see that. I quietly lowered the hood.

"This one, please."

Bought on the spot.

"Thank you. Shall we take it in for sizing?"

"No, it's fine as is."

Price: 180,000 yen. It comes out of the five-million-yen account, and the fact that seeing that many digits doesn't faze me anymore is a little scary.

Well — this is equipment for protecting myself. A necessary expense. Protecting myself from what, you ask? Mainly from embarrassment.

While he wrapped it, the clerk made some small talk.

"Young, but you choose well."

"Do I?"

"Yes. Everyone starts out wanting something flashy."

All I did was hunt for plain and land on the most on-brand item in the store. The world is at fault. I'm not.

Bag in hand, out of the shop — outside, it was already dusk.

Walking through the underground street, my phone buzzed; unknown number. I answered, and a familiar voice.

『This is Shibasaki, of the Guild's Nagoya headquarters, examination department. Am I speaking with Ichinose-sama?』

"Ah — yes."

『The results of your examination the other day are in, so I am calling to inform you.』

Huh, already? My feet stopped on the spot before I knew it.

『—Congratulations. Your promotion to D-rank has been approved.』