chapter3 · 054-ep54

Episode 54: So I Can Survive

Kanzaki didn't know how long he screamed.

By the time his voice cut off, he couldn't feel his right arm.

Kanzaki Jinya had swung his fist.

He had run force through his whole body, gathered it in his right arm to crush the Enchanter, and punched just as he had every other time he'd broken people.

Whether they were ordinary people or Awakeners, they got crushed when he hit them.

Bones broke, and if he smashed them into a wall, they stopped moving.

That was normal to him.

But that normal wasn't happening now.

The Enchanter wasn't down.

Kanzaki's fist hadn't reached him.

No, it should have reached him, but it was repelled by something, and now his right arm wouldn't move, as though it no longer belonged to him.

"...Huh?"

A stupid sound came out.

He just needed to clench it right away.

Clench it and throw another punch.

Thinking that, he put strength into his right hand.

His fingers didn't move.

Even when he gritted his back teeth and tried again, his fingertips only trembled slightly and couldn't make a fist.

His wrist hung at a strange angle.

His elbow wasn't straight either.

Deep in his shoulder, things didn't fit together as if it had come out, and his entire arm had become an object merely hanging from his body.

Then, in the next instant, pain came late.

At first, he couldn't even tell whether it was heat or pain.

From fist to wrist, elbow, and shoulder, pain ran through him as though he had been ripped apart from the inside in reverse.

It wasn't pain from being hit from outside.

There was a sickening sensation that something near the bones had shifted and would never return.

"Nngh... guaaah..."

A cry tried to escape.

Kanzaki forcibly swallowed it.

Don't show pain.

Don't make that face.

Those Beginner Awakeners who had been trembling with tears in their eyes until moments ago were watching.

The men in work clothes too.

And the Enchanter right in front of him was watching Kanzaki.

"Kanzaki-san...?"

"His arm..."

"No way."

Someone seemed to say something.

Shut up.

Be quiet.

His right arm was just a little messed up.

It would be better soon.

There was no way it wouldn't get better.

He was a Fighter.

There was no way a little Enchanter brat could stop him here.

Kanzaki slowly raised his face.

The Enchanter was breathing hard but still standing there.

That guy wasn't unharmed either.

His arm had to be numb.

He had taken Kanzaki's Mighty Fist, so there was no way he came through unscathed.

And yet he wasn't down.

Only Kanzaki's right arm was finished.

That fact churned something strange in the depths of his gut.

Did he think he'd won?

Did he think it was over?

Screw that.

It wasn't over yet.

Even if his right arm was no good, he had his left.

He had legs too.

Knees, shoulders, head—he could use all of them.

Then he could fight.

He had to be able to fight.

"...Now this is getting interesting."

Kanzaki tried to smile.

He thought he smiled.

The taste of blood lingered in his mouth, his jaw hurt, and the depths of his right arm kept burning.

He didn't know whether his face was actually making a smile.

Still, he made it into the shape of one.

If he couldn't smile here, he would stop being himself.

"The fight's only just getting started, Enchanter."

He said that and tried to step forward.

His foot didn't move.

What was he doing?

Move forward.

Close the distance right now, punch with the left, knee him, smash his head into the wall.

He thought all of that, but his right foot wouldn't move, as though it were stuck to the floor.

He had a leg.

He could feel it.

He could put strength in his knee.

And yet it wouldn't move forward.

Instead, his knees were shaking.

His left hand was shaking too.

His breathing was shallow, and the back of his throat was unbearably dry.

What was this?

What was happening?

He should have been angry.

An Enchanter had broken his arm, and those weaklings were watching—there was no greater humiliation.

He was furious.

He wanted to kill him too.

Yet his body alone wouldn't go forward.

Kanzaki looked at the Enchanter once more.

A skinny brat, around high-school age.

The opponent who had landed a blow on him in Meeting Room Seven, the one he had planned to beat to a pulp today.

He was right in front of him.

Within reach.

Yet Kanzaki's feet wouldn't move.

Then an unpleasant thought grazed his mind.

Was he scared?

Was he afraid of that guy?

No.

There was no way.

Kanzaki liked fighting strong people.

He didn't mind crushing weak people either, but it felt far better to smash down an opponent who resisted from above.

The stronger the opponent, the better it felt when he finally made them kneel.

So fighting wasn't scary.

The Enchanter wasn't scary either.

There was no way he could be scared of some brat.

Then what was he afraid of?

He looked at his right arm.

The arm that had moved as naturally as anything until moments ago couldn't make a fist now.

What if his left arm became the same way next?

What if his legs broke?

What if that weird power was sent back into his chest, his neck, or his head?

The instant he thought that far, he understood clearly.

Ah.

I see.

I'm scared of dying.

If he died in battle, it would be what he wanted.

If he clashed with a strong opponent and fell in the end, that would be fine too.

He had thought that.

No, he had pretended he thought that.

He had said it aloud too.

Because it looked cool to be that kind of person.

A man who smiled before the strong, enjoyed pain, and didn't even fear death.

That kind of man looked stronger.

That kind of man looked above others.

Kanzaki had thought he was that kind of man.

But he wasn't.

Right now, his body was refusing to go forward.

His head told him to punch.

To kill.

But his body said it wanted to live.

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to be broken.

If he kept going, he might really die.

That feeling was clearer than even the pain in his right arm.

"...Damn it."

He spat it out quietly.

Screw this.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He was supposed to rise higher.

He was supposed to earn recognition from Black Gate, connect with bigger people, and get to somewhere higher than where he was now.

He had thought if he gathered Beginner Awakeners, took them into a Gate, crushed the Enchanter if he came, and finished this job, he'd rise another step.

But his right arm wouldn't move.

His knees shook.

He couldn't step toward the Enchanter in front of him.

Then something he didn't want to admit surfaced in his mind.

——I wasn't the strongest.

He put strength into his back teeth as though crushing those words.

Don't admit it.

Don't admit something like that.

Yet his feet wouldn't step toward the Enchanter.

While turning his body toward the Gate entrance came strangely easily.

Kanzaki broke into a run that way without thinking.

"Move."

He said it to the men in work clothes farther down the passage.

The men stayed still, confused.

"Kanzaki-san..."

"I said move!"

With his left arm, Kanzaki shoved aside the nearest man.

The man struck the wall, and the participants around them gave small screams.

In the way.

They were all in the way.

Shielding his useless right arm, Kanzaki forced his way between people.

Every time his right arm swung, an unpleasant pain ran from deep in his shoulder to his elbow.

But the arm hadn't been torn off.

He was an Awakener.

Maybe treatment could fix it somehow.

Maybe if he gave it time, it would move again.

For now, get outside.

Get outside and hide somewhere, anywhere.

Heal his arm and rebuild his position.

If he died here, nothing would remain.

The moment he thought that, he realized his feet—which had stuck to the floor when he tried to face the Enchanter—were strangely light now as they headed for the entrance.

That lightness pissed him off.

He wasn't running away.

He wasn't scared either.

He was only getting outside so he could survive.

He convinced himself of that.

He remembered the way they had come.

He turned several corners and ran with his left hand against the wall.

His breathing grew rough, and his legs felt ready to tangle.

Still, he couldn't stop.

It wasn't over yet.

He wouldn't let it end.

Repeating that to himself, Kanzaki dove through the exit Gate.

His vision warped.

The dungeon's smell vanished, and the damp air disappeared.

The ground of the former materials yard returned under his feet.

Outside.

He was out.

The instant he thought that, his feet stopped.

"...Huh?"

There were people he didn't know.

Police and people who looked like Awakeners stood surrounding the Gate.

There was nowhere to slip through.

Nowhere to hide.

The route that had filled his head moments ago—just get outside and run somewhere—was crushed completely before his eyes.

Farther beyond them,

Takatsuki was there.

But police surrounded him.

The man who had worn a calm face outside the Gate until recently now stood there drained of color.

What the hell?

What was going on?

Breathing hard, Kanzaki looked around.

His right arm wouldn't move.

The Enchanter was coming from behind.

Police and Awakeners were in front.

There were no gaps to get through on either side.

He had thought getting outside would solve things.

He'd escape somewhere, hide, heal his arm, and rebuild himself one more time.

If he didn't die here, it wasn't over yet.

That was why he came outside.

And yet there was nowhere to run.

Right.

He had only burst out into a place with no escape.

One man stepped forward from among those surrounding him.

His steps were strangely calm.

He didn't seem startled even when he looked at Kanzaki's arm.

The man stopped before him and looked straight at him.

"Kanzaki Jinya."

He said his name.

That alone made Kanzaki's throat close up.

How did he know?

Why did he say Kanzaki's name here as though it were only natural?

"Takatsuki Ryōsuke is already in our custody. We need to hear from you as well about leading the participants into the Gate."

The man's voice was flat.

"Do not move from there. If you use your ability to resist, we will stop you with force as well."

"...Screw you."

Damn it.

He'd thought if he didn't die here, it wasn't over yet.

But this was impossible no matter how he looked at it.

There was nowhere left for him to survive.

That fact alone was painfully clear inside him.