chapter3 · 041-ep41
Episode 41: Iroha's Choice
Morning.
Even as it got close to time for school, I, Mibu Iroha, hadn't changed into my uniform.
The uniform hanging on its hanger was in the same place as yesterday.
My bag was still beside my desk too.
I had to go.
I thought I probably did.
If I took the day off today, anyone would know it was because of yesterday's video.
But if I went to school, people would surely look at me.
When I entered the classroom.
When I walked down the hall.
When I changed my shoes at the lockers.
It wasn't as though someone would necessarily say anything.
If anything, maybe nobody would say anything.
But that was scarier.
Representative Mibu's daughter.
The girl from the video.
An Awakener.
It felt like words like that were walking around ahead of my name.
I looked at my uniform.
If I reached out, I could take it.
I could change, leave home as usual, and go to school.
I could go to the rooftop too.
That had been the place where I felt most at ease.
More than at home, and more than in this room.
There were few people, the wind passed through, and there were fewer unnecessary eyes on me.
It was a place where simply being there made it a little easier to breathe.
And recently, I hadn't disliked lunch break either.
Himura-kun talked looking a little happy, Makino-kun listened with keen interest, and sometimes he laughed.
I ate my lunch beside them and watched the two of them.
That time alone was more comfortable than I'd expected.
And yet, today I didn't even want to go there.
I was scared of going to the place that should have calmed me.
I was scared of remembering the time I'd looked forward to.
I felt a little disgusted with myself for feeling that way.
My eyes happened to fall on the phone on my desk.
I'd turned off the notifications.
Even so, the screen kept lighting up.
I knew what information was spreading on it without looking.
【Representative Mibu's Daughter】
【Underage Awakener in Rental Meeting Room Trouble】
【Questions About Awakener Development Program: Phase Two】
【Representative Mibu Pressed to Explain】
My name still wasn't being displayed prominently.
But it barely mattered anymore.
Representative Mibu's daughter.
Yesterday's video.
Violence by an underage Awakener.
If those were lined up, anyone who knew could figure it out.
It was probably being talked about at school too.
In my class.
In the hallways.
When I thought that, my chest tightened.
Just then, there was a restrained knock from outside my room.
"Iroha-sama."
It was one of the household staff.
"Your father is calling for you."
"All right."
I replied shortly.
Still in my loungewear rather than my uniform, I stood up.
I looked in the mirror.
I didn't look pale.
I probably looked as I always did.
That was fine.
If I looked like I'd been crying, people would say something about that too.
Father was in his study.
When I opened the door, several documents lay spread over his desk.
Father sat on the other side of it.
He didn't look tired.
He didn't look angry either.
Just as always.
At least, that was how he looked to me.
"Iroha."
"Yes."
"You don't need to go to school for a while."
That was what Father said.
His conclusion from the start.
"Refrain from going out as well. If you move now, the situation will worsen."
"...Yes."
"We've contacted the school ourselves. If you need anything, have the staff prepare it."
"Understood."
"Keep contact with others to the bare minimum too. There is a chance people are watching who you're connected to right now."
"Understood."
That was all I could say.
What Father said was right.
If I went outside, someone might see me.
If I went to school, I might cause trouble for those around me.
They might start looking into Himura-kun, who was in the video, even more too.
So I should stay home.
That judgment was right.
But Father's words reached me with another meaning.
Don't move.
If you go outside, the situation will worsen.
That was how it felt he was saying it.
I knew Father wasn't blaming me.
But sometimes not being blamed hurt more.
"Your careless actions were not the only cause. But it is true that someone took advantage of you."
"Yes."
Taken advantage of.
That was true too.
I couldn't overlook it if there were people trying to stop the Awakener Development Program.
Someone suspicious had been close by, and I had wanted to confirm it.
But in the end, I was used.
And I had dragged Himura-kun into it too.
Nothing I said could change that.
"We'll handle this."
That was what Father said.
"Stay quietly at home for a while."
When I heard those words, there was a name that nearly came from the back of my throat.
Takatsuki-san.
That's right.
I should just say it.
I should tell him everything I heard yesterday.
That Takatsuki-san had been acting behind Father's back.
That he was trying to stop the Awakener Development Program.
That he wasn't on Father's side.
But no sound came out.
Because I remembered last night.
After I had parted ways with Himura-kun yesterday.
On the road shortly before I reached home, I saw Takatsuki-san.
The person trying to stop the Awakener Development Program.
The person who worked as an assistant policy secretary while associating with suspicious people behind the scenes.
The person who was pushing something forward without Father's knowledge.
I had heard it all.
I would tell Father about this.
I didn't know how I should explain it, but I couldn't let things go the way this person wanted.
That was what I thought.
"I'm glad you weren't hurt, Iroha-san."
His polite voice.
As calm as always, unchanged from the face of an assistant I saw in front of Father.
I didn't reply.
I tried to walk past him.
That was when it happened.
Takatsuki-san's voice quietly fell.
"You are free to tell your father about today."
My feet stopped before I could help it.
"However, if you do, we will release footage as well."
Footage.
For some reason, that word gave me a bad feeling.
"Meeting Room Seven."
Takatsuki-san opened his mouth.
"If necessary, we will post footage of you eavesdropping on the room next door to SNS."
I couldn't breathe.
How?
How did he know that?
We had been in Meeting Room Seven.
We had listened to the conversation in the room next door.
We had even used a sound amplifier.
This man knew that.
And he said footage.
That meant we'd been watched.
That we'd hidden in that room.
That we'd come out of the storage space.
Takatsuki-san knew everything.
"Representative Mibu's daughter brought a male student along to tail political figures. Then she entered a rental meeting room and used a sound amplifier to eavesdrop."
Takatsuki-san continued flatly.
"If that becomes the headline, your father's position will worsen further, don't you think?"
I couldn't say anything.
If only that part were shown, there would be almost no excuse I could make.
"I'm not telling you not to speak to your father."
Takatsuki-san lowered his voice only slightly.
"But you should consider what will happen if you do."
I couldn't even turn around.
I was frustrated.
I knew what the person in front of me had done.
But what frustrated me most was that I couldn't say anything back.
That memory still closed off my throat.
And this morning, footage really had been released.
But it wasn't footage of us eavesdropping.
It was footage of me saying something, Himura-kun stepping forward, and fighting that man.
That alone made the public attach whatever meaning they wanted and make a fuss.
Representative Mibu's daughter used an Awakener boy.
An underage Awakener rampaged outside.
Phase Two of the Awakener Development Program is dangerous.
They really said whatever they pleased.
How could people who knew nothing pile words on top of each other as if they understood, just because they were on the other side of a screen?
It made me angry.
But I didn't know where to direct that anger either.
But now I understood clearly.
Takatsuki-san really did have footage.
If footage of us eavesdropping were released now, amid all this backlash.
Father would find it even harder to act, and it might spread beyond Phase Two to reconsidering the Program itself.
It would hurt Himura-kun even more too.
That was why I couldn't say it.
"Understood."
That was how I replied.
Father looked at me for only a moment.
He looked as though he might say something, but in the end, the words never came out.
"Go rest in your room for today."
"...Yes."
He had said all he needed to say.
That was how Father's words sounded.
Don't go to school.
Don't go outside.
Don't connect with anyone more than necessary.
To Father, I was something that needed to be kept that way right now.
I knew.
That Father didn't see me as his daughter.
Even so, seeing it so clearly hurt more than I had expected.
I bowed my head and left the study.
Back in my room, I sat at the edge of my bed.
For a while, I couldn't move.
My uniform was still hanging on its hanger.
My bag was still beside my desk.
The notebook I had used yesterday lay on my desk.
Until yesterday, I had planned to go to school today too.
That had changed in just one day.
I picked up my phone.
I opened the messaging app,
and somehow found Himura-kun's name.
Our last exchange was still from yesterday.
There was no new message.
I felt a little relieved that there wasn't.
And at the same time, my chest hurt a little.
I opened the reply field.
I tried to type something, and my fingers stopped.
I'm sorry.
I started to type it, then deleted it.
If I sent that, Himura-kun would surely worry.
I'm okay.
I started to type it, then deleted it.
I wasn't okay.
Thank you.
I started to type it, then deleted that too.
That didn't feel right now either.
Yesterday, Himura-kun had stepped forward to help me.
He was someone who should never have been dragged into it.
If I hadn't asked him.
If I hadn't said we should tail Takatsuki-san.
If I had stopped things there.
There was no point thinking about it after it was all over.
I knew that.
Even so, I couldn't help thinking it.
(...I'm sorry.)
I murmured that in my heart, closed the reply field, and turned my phone face down.
If I stayed home, I would be safe.
What Father said was right.
If I didn't go outside, there would be no more backlash.
I knew.
I knew all of it.
If I didn't go to school, my class wouldn't be inconvenienced.
If I didn't contact anyone, I wouldn't drag Himura-kun into this any further.
If I didn't say anything unnecessary, Father's position wouldn't worsen any more than it already had.
Then staying shut in here was best.
Stay in this room, say nothing, do nothing.
I thought that was the most correct thing I could do right now.
Even though I thought that, my heart didn't feel any lighter at all.